Author: Carolyn

I am a Christian, a sinner saved by God's amazing grace. Much like my life, my blog is a work in progress. The main objective I have for this blog is to "proclaim the praises" of the One who called me out of darkness and into His marvelous light! (1 Peter 2:9)

A Week of Thanksgiving

Carolyn

With this being Thanksgiving week, I thought I would try each day this week to share specific things for which I’m thankful.

One thing that jumps to mind after this past week is that I’m thankful for our school. We had Grandparents’ Day on Friday, and part of the program was giving the history of the school.

As I listened to the stories again, I recalled the 8 months of Saturday morning prayer together as families before the school started, committing this all to God. It was amazing to reflect on how what was started in living rooms has now moved into a school, now in its 4th year, with 82 students and a Vision to propel students for a life of service to Christ.

As the students came in and sang “Great Is Thy Faithfulness,” my heart was indeed full of thoughts of His faithfulness to us in this endeavor. This is His work, and He has done it. We are blessed to have watched it unfold before our eyes and truly thankful for His provision.

Should Life Be Fair?

Carolyn

Though I am neither a philosopher nor a theologian, my thoughts have been directed lately to thoughts of “fairness.” It seems from birth, we are inclined to feel that all things should be “fair.” Isn’t it the familiar cry of a child: “That’s not fair!” The cookie has to be perfectly broken in two, for certainly no one can have more than the other.

We have an innate sense about what we deserve, how things should be, how we should be treated, what is right and wrong, what is fair and unfair. But is our expectation of fairness realistic? More importantly, is it a biblical expectation?

I’ve been faced with that this year — situations that at first glance don’t seem “fair” in the lives of all 4 in my family. But what if that were our expectation? Unfair things will happen all throughout our lives, over and over again. What if we accepted these kinds of circumstances as the norm and expected them, entrusting ourselves to God who knows best?

And what if instead of fighting to make these unfair wrongs right, we fought to display God’s glory and bring His ways into the situation. What if we truly returned evil with a blessing, prayed for those who hurt us, forgave, demonstrated faithfulness and commitment to other people, poured out the love of God to those who hurt us?

What if we gave God’s Word and ways a chance? What if our responses became so adapted to His ways that we didn’t even feel the unfairness anymore, just the beauty of responding in a way that honors God.

Look at Hagar. She was treated harshly by Sarah (Genesis 16), and yet God showed compassion on Hagar and blessed her, while still telling her to return and submit to Sarah.

Look at Joseph. He was sold by his brothers into slavery, then later imprisoned for something he did not do (when Potiphar’s wife lied about him.) But God was with Joseph, and God used the evil to bring good (food for his people during the famine).

Do these things sound fair? Yet God was sovereign over them, ordaining them for His good purposes, and He was with Hagar and Joseph in the midst of the wrong. He blessed them and used these things. What if they had resisted or fought for their rights or demanded better treatment, if that were even possible?

What if Jesus had refused to be mistreated? What if He had demanded His rights? He of all people could have. But in His great love for us, He suffered. He gave us a different picture for how to handle mistreatment. The love He gave us, He is asking us to give it to others.

We live in a broken world of sin, and we know this current world and life can’t offer us what we are looking for. We long for the perfection and fairness that is not ours on this earth, and we are longing for the place where all will indeed be right and fair and perfect. Christ offers us that for which we long. He is the one Who came to redeem us and change us, and He has a place for those who know Him in heaven one day. He alone satisfies.

Even as I write this, I know it is not complete theologically. I know there are circumstances where we need to act, need to confront, and need to stand up for something. But I wonder how many situations we perceive to be that way that could just as easily be overlooked as we allow God to take our hurts and help us.

So I write as I wrestle. I write without full knowledge, but I write with thankfulness for what God is teaching me and revealing to me about Himself as I struggle through these things.

A Quick Praise

Carolyn

I just wanted to say a quick praise today!

9 years ago today, we brought our second born home from the hospital after a 3 month stay in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. She was discharged from the hospital on her original due date, though she had been born in late July. We came home with an apena monitor so we’d know if her heart stopped, some medications, and lots of instructions on how to follow up with eye exams, weight checks, physical therapy, doctor visits, etc.

I say we brought her “home,” but in reality, we brought her to my mom’s house. She had been born in Memphis, though we lived in Virginia at the time. I had been visiting my mom that summer when the pregnancy deteriorated to the point of hospitalization in early July. And there in Memphis, we stayed for the next 5 1/2 months.

How wonderful for God to provide this place for her birth, where I had grown up and had a loving church family and friends to surround us, my family to care for my oldest while I was in the hospital the month of July, an OB/GYN as my mom’s next door neighbor who God used to save our lives, outstanding doctors, familiarity with where I was. We had been living in Virginia for my husband’s doctoral program at the university there, but we did not have this kind of network, and I actually am not convinced my daughter or I would be alive if the pregnancy had proceeded there where my doctor dismissed everything in this extremely rare, life threatening situation. He did not even want to do an ultrasound, and he wouldn’t have referred me to a high risk doctor. We weren’t even at the UVa hospital, but a lower level one called Martha Jefferson which could not have met our needs. And my doctor was ever reluctant to pass his patients off to anyone associated with UVa.

I see God’s provision in being at my mom’s house with this doctor who came by every day, understood the situation, and got me the care we needed.

I praise the Lord today for His kindness and mercy, for His love for us. I praise Him that He uses hard times, times of suffering, to draw us to Himself in ways we’d never do otherwise. I praise Him that He uses these things for His glory. I praise Him that He allowed my child to live, and I pray she will bless His name always and follow Him all the days of her life, loving Him with all her heart, soul, mind and strength.

Glory!

Carolyn

As I ran out to the store late the other night, I was driving home and saw the most beautiful moon! It wasn’t quite full, but it was out on the horizon and enormous looking, almost yellow with clouds touching it a little. It was overwhelmingly beautiful!

I’m doing a Bible study now called “Breaking Free” by Beth Moore. The study that morning had been about how our lives are to “glorify God.” We learned more about what glory means, and one thing I learned is that “God’s glory is the way He makes Himself recognizable.” I had had that sort of prayer on my heart that morning that says, “Show me your glory, Lord.”

As I looked at the moon, the only appropriate word my mouth wanted to utter was “Glory!” Who could look at that moon and not say that it is glorious!

As I pondered it, there was a song playing on the radio that echoed my heart, and these were the words:

Powerful so powerful
Your glory fills the skies
Your mighty works displayed for all to see
The beauty of your majesty
Awakes my heart to see
How marvelous, how wonderful you are.

Beautiful one I love you
Beautiful one I adore
Beautiful one my soul must sing.

You opened my eyes to your wonders anew
You captured my heart with this love
Because nothing on Earth is as beautiful as you

Did you hear that? “Your GLORY fills the skies”! Literally, I’m looking at this gorgeous moon in the skies and declaring GLORY and this song is playing! But the bigger message was “Nothing on earth is as beautiful as You.” The moon was glorious, but it was revealing His glory. I felt I was seeing His glory, the answer to my prayer.

I was also struck the following day that I can display His glory as I honor and obey Him and reflect Him to a watching world. By God’s power, we can demonstrate that a life filled with His Spirit and surrendered to Him changes us and is to the praise of His glory. May He strengthen us to walk in Him in such a way!

Psalm 66:2 “Sing the glory of his name; make his praise glorious!“

The Lord our God is One

The Lord our God is One

Carolyn

I have really been wrestling with something this last week or so. It’s been one of those times where something has you so disturbed that it’s hard to focus and spend time praying and reading because of this distraction.

Because of my heart’s inability to be still, I prayed this morning, as I was getting ready for work and making pancakes for the children, that God would just in the quiet of the morning, bring to mind verses that are hidden in my heart and that He would tune my ears to hear Him. I asked Him to remove any voice but His, as I felt like as distracted as I had been, it was hard to settle my own inner struggle.

The only verse that came to my mind was this from Deuteronomy 6: “The LORD our God, the LORD is ONE. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.”

I have to confess, I quickly wondered why in the world that verse had come to mind… it didn’t speak to anything I was going through, and I felt certain God would have wanted to address my immediate needs! When it didn’t, I turned on the radio and forgot about it.

Fast forward to tonight. My computer keeps crashing. It’s only 2-3 months old, and it’s been happening off and on since I got it. I called the computer company tonight and was greeted by a very perky voice in India. Realizing she was probably starting her day while I was ending mine, I tried to put up with her constant happy “thank you very much”s as I answered each question yawning.

When she told me what to try, my computer said it would take 18 minutes. She said it should be quick as it was new, but no, here we were now stuck for 18 minutes. I began asking her about India, about her culture, the weather, and I found out all sorts of things about her life and arranged marriages, and then finally Hinduism. She shared with me that she worships idols… there are so many, she said!

Her boyfriend is “Christian,” and she grew up in a Catholic school. She understood about Jesus and sin versus her belief in karma and doing good to come back as a person again. As I listened and waited, hearing how she can respect all religions, I finally started to ask her if she had peace. I asked her what if there weren’t many gods and only one God… wouldn’t she like that? Yes, she said, then she wouldn’t have to go to so many temples to worship so many idols during so many festivals. I told her to pray and ask God to reveal Himself to her as He really is. I told her He is faithful, He will answer.

As we were talking about many idols/gods versus ONE God, it came to me… the verse from this morning! So I told her to pray, and then I told her how I had asked God for a verse that morning, and this is what He put on my heart… “The Lord your God is ONE; you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.” I told her I didn’t know why at the time, but I now believed God gave me that verse so I could share it with her this night. The Lord our God is ONE.

She said she doesn’t pray or seek and felt maybe she should start. She’s heard of people who pray all the time, but never known anyone, and she was glad to talk to me.

My computer had since started something else that was going to take an hour, and her shift had been over, leaving her with just 10 minutes to catch her cab, so she had to go. She told me she would call me tomorrow to find out about the computer, but that then she would only be able to talk to me about technology because the call was coming the other direction. But she asked that I not try to call her back because they would reassign my case to someone else.

Praise You, LORD. You did hear me and answer this morning with just what I needed at that moment, with what you wanted to give her. My world is so ingrown and self-centered that if it doesn’t speak to me, I almost am not listening… but your world, your kingdom is so magnificent and huge and Your purposes are so great. Oh, that I would be willing to do what You ask and hear what You say and follow where You lead and give up my little kingdom for Your transcendent one.

After I hung up with this girl, I went to my son’s room as he was still awake. I told him the story. We immediately prayed for her. I have been so wrapped up in a concern I’ve had in my son’s life, but God just gave me such a big picture and reminded me He is sovereign over even hurts and unfair situations. We took the opportunity to pray about that, too, because I had been convicted that I’d been trying to biblically address a hurt with him, without leading him into prayer to ask God to specifically show him God’s bigger plan and purposes. He’s going to need constant reminders, but aren’t I the same way? I need God to remind me daily and teach me or I simply forget and go my own way, not trusting Him. Oh, for grace to trust Him more!