I have really been wrestling with something this last week or so. It’s been one of those times where something has you so disturbed that it’s hard to focus and spend time praying and reading because of this distraction.
Because of my heart’s inability to be still, I prayed this morning, as I was getting ready for work and making pancakes for the children, that God would just in the quiet of the morning, bring to mind verses that are hidden in my heart and that He would tune my ears to hear Him. I asked Him to remove any voice but His, as I felt like as distracted as I had been, it was hard to settle my own inner struggle.
The only verse that came to my mind was this from Deuteronomy 6: “The LORD our God, the LORD is ONE. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.”
I have to confess, I quickly wondered why in the world that verse had come to mind… it didn’t speak to anything I was going through, and I felt certain God would have wanted to address my immediate needs! When it didn’t, I turned on the radio and forgot about it.
Fast forward to tonight. My computer keeps crashing. It’s only 2-3 months old, and it’s been happening off and on since I got it. I called the computer company tonight and was greeted by a very perky voice in India. Realizing she was probably starting her day while I was ending mine, I tried to put up with her constant happy “thank you very much”s as I answered each question yawning.
When she told me what to try, my computer said it would take 18 minutes. She said it should be quick as it was new, but no, here we were now stuck for 18 minutes. I began asking her about India, about her culture, the weather, and I found out all sorts of things about her life and arranged marriages, and then finally Hinduism. She shared with me that she worships idols… there are so many, she said!
Her boyfriend is “Christian,” and she grew up in a Catholic school. She understood about Jesus and sin versus her belief in karma and doing good to come back as a person again. As I listened and waited, hearing how she can respect all religions, I finally started to ask her if she had peace. I asked her what if there weren’t many gods and only one God… wouldn’t she like that? Yes, she said, then she wouldn’t have to go to so many temples to worship so many idols during so many festivals. I told her to pray and ask God to reveal Himself to her as He really is. I told her He is faithful, He will answer.
As we were talking about many idols/gods versus ONE God, it came to me… the verse from this morning! So I told her to pray, and then I told her how I had asked God for a verse that morning, and this is what He put on my heart… “The Lord your God is ONE; you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.” I told her I didn’t know why at the time, but I now believed God gave me that verse so I could share it with her this night. The Lord our God is ONE.
She said she doesn’t pray or seek and felt maybe she should start. She’s heard of people who pray all the time, but never known anyone, and she was glad to talk to me.
My computer had since started something else that was going to take an hour, and her shift had been over, leaving her with just 10 minutes to catch her cab, so she had to go. She told me she would call me tomorrow to find out about the computer, but that then she would only be able to talk to me about technology because the call was coming the other direction. But she asked that I not try to call her back because they would reassign my case to someone else.
Praise You, LORD. You did hear me and answer this morning with just what I needed at that moment, with what you wanted to give her. My world is so ingrown and self-centered that if it doesn’t speak to me, I almost am not listening… but your world, your kingdom is so magnificent and huge and Your purposes are so great. Oh, that I would be willing to do what You ask and hear what You say and follow where You lead and give up my little kingdom for Your transcendent one.
After I hung up with this girl, I went to my son’s room as he was still awake. I told him the story. We immediately prayed for her. I have been so wrapped up in a concern I’ve had in my son’s life, but God just gave me such a big picture and reminded me He is sovereign over even hurts and unfair situations. We took the opportunity to pray about that, too, because I had been convicted that I’d been trying to biblically address a hurt with him, without leading him into prayer to ask God to specifically show him God’s bigger plan and purposes. He’s going to need constant reminders, but aren’t I the same way? I need God to remind me daily and teach me or I simply forget and go my own way, not trusting Him. Oh, for grace to trust Him more!