The Deceitful Heart, Day One

Carolyn

I watched Beth Moore’s video devotional (below) yesterday. She challenged us to pray for 10 days and ask God how our heart is deceiving us (Jer. 17:9). She also encouraged us to listen for the answer. So I’m doing this because yesterday was a hard day where I felt like I was listening to lies and being deceived.

So I prayed about it, and this morning, while I rode the exercise bike (part of my exercise plan for my knee), I got out the Bible and decided to work on a chunk of Bible memory, returning to James from this summer.

I was biking and reading it out loud. As I read, I came to this verse in James 1:26:

If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless.

Did you catch that? “… but deceives his own heart,….”  Well, that seemed pretty pointed. I’m deceiving my own heart when I don’t bridle my tongue. And that tells something about my faith.

I was expecting the answer to my prayer to be some sort of answer to my pathetic self absorption and “woe is me” attitude from the day before, but this went a completely different direction. I thought of all the ways I use my words and what they reveal and the trouble they cause when I don’t bridle my tongue. I wouldn’t have thought this a big problem for me, but as I thought about it, I could see areas where I need a greater obedience on this.

I don’t want to linger long here. It’s late and I’m tired, and my husband is calling for his computer, but I wanted to capture this first day and continue to ask God to reveal where I am being deceived.

Pictures

Carolyn

Here are some recent pictures I thought I’d share.

My husband took my daughter hiking in East Tennessee a couple of weeks ago. They had so much fun! I was a little nervous about the trip and not being with them. It was originally planned as a family trip, but I could not walk when the time came, and my son decided he would stay with me and take part in school and church activities that were planned for that weekend.

These are the kinds of pictures they sent to scare me throughout the weekend:

warning sign for bears!

 

looks like she’s falling off the mountain!
They emailed this with a caption “Look what we saw” – it was actually a picture they took from a book!

But they actually had a great time!

on a hike
horseback riding where they actually DID see a bear!

Moving on to other things…

My sister-in-law (pictured below) brought me these last week. I thought they were cheery, and they smelled so pretty.

I have a 14-year old! My mom gave the party since it was only 3 days after my surgery. I hope he felt celebrated! I’m thankful for our sweet families (my mom, my husband’s parents, and his brother’s family are all local) who have been so supportive and helpful.

I’m also thankful for my sweet neighbors and friends who have prayed for me and brought us dinner, giving my mom a break. What an unexpected gift!

This also reminds me how wonderful everyone at work has been to support me through this last month. They have all been so kind and helpful. I’ll never forget my friend getting the church wheelchair to get me to my car one day when things were so rough! 🙂 We will surely laugh of that again in years to come!

I started this post just looking for a few recent pictures to share, but am ending it full of gratefulness for God’s provision of loving friends who have called, emailed, sent cards, and prayed over the last month. What a blessing and encouragement! And I’m grateful for His protection and care over my family as they traveled. Thank you, Lord!

I’m Trading My Sorrows

Carolyn

Several years ago, maybe around 2004, I did my first Beth Moore Bible Study called Jesus the One and Only on the life of Jesus from the Book of Luke. My friend gave me the CD of music that came with the leader’s kit. There was a song on it called “I’m Trading My Sorrows.” I haven’t thought of it in years, but it’s been on my heart today. I want joy in my present circumstances, eyes fixed on Jesus, being more obedient, loving Him more. JOY, considering the trials I encounter JOY!

It’s late, but I just wanted to post this song!

 

September 2012

Carolyn
On Thursday I had arthroscopic knee surgery to try to resolve the issues I’ve had this month with pain in my knee, swelling, and not being able to walk well. The x-ray had shown what looked like a loose bone fragment, though the orthopedist seemed skeptical.

During surgery, he discovered that there was no bone fragment; rather, I have degenerative arthritis that has been causing the problems. He was able to smooth off the bones (if I understood correctly) to try to bring some relief.

I don’t really know much more at this point. I will go for my post-op visit on October 9 and find out more, I guess. It took me by surprise. I had hoped the surgery would be an easy fix to my problem, but it really only identified the real problem which may not be so easily fixed.

There’s no way to know how quickly this will progress. I am young to have it, and they don’t know what causes it. He told me some of the treatments, none of which I want. I’m hoping the surgery will help stabilize my knee and give me some time to try some different easier things.

Since this started on September 1st, I’ve been meditating on James 1, and I recited it over and over the day of surgery. “Consider it all joy, my beloved brethren, when you encounter various trials knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

Can I consider this unexpected trial a joy as it might produce in me endurance and a maturing of faith? The post yesterday about who I am listening to is timely for me because I must speak truth to this situation, and not listen to any other voice (not even my own) but His.

Already I sense the Lord’s nearness to me. I’ve shared before how God uses music and specific songs in my life. When we got in the car to drive home from the surgery, I turned on the radio, and this song (at the end of this post) was just starting. I’m not saying in this case this was a specific word from the Lord to me through this song, but it did make tears start to stream down my face. At the same time, my husband shouted out, “Do you hear this? Do you hear the words to this song? It’s your song for this!”
Then I came home and ran across this post by a friend of ours. Not only did he mention my life verse of 2 Cor. 12:9 and speak such beautiful truth about joy in times of difficulty or darkness, but one of the people who commented wrote out the verses I had been reciting all day from James 1.
I’ve seen God work miracles and healing in our lives. I don’t doubt His ability to heal me and help me in this or just slow the progression. But I know he doesn’t always choose to do that. With whatever the days ahead hold, the things I can be certain of are that He is with me, that He has a plan, that He has good for me, that He loves me, that He is in control, that my life is His, that He will be near to me, and that all things are possible with Him. I pray I keep my eyes fixed on Him and hear His Word and trust in Him alone.

Who Am I Listening To?

Carolyn

We are studying the Storyline of the Bible in Women’s Bible Study this year. The first week was about creation and the fall. I left thinking again about Eve listening to the serpent. God had already said that if they ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they would surely die (Gen. 2:17). His word was clear. And yet when she started listening to the serpent, things didn’t seem as clear. The serpent said to Eve, “You surely shall not die!” (Gen. 3:4)

I am reading a book my mom gave me by Martyn Lloyd-Jones called Spiritual Depression. No, I don’t feel spiritually depressed, but it is an excellent book. Lloyd-Jones writes,

“…the ultimate cause of spiritual depression is unbelief. For if it were not for unbelief even the devil could do nothing. It is because we listen to the devil instead of listening to God that we go down before him and fall before his attacks. That is why the psalmist keeps on saying to himself: ‘Hope thou in God for I shall yet praise Him…’ He reminds himself of God.” (emphasis added)

I want to know God and listen to His Word.

Jesus says in John 8:32, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

He then asked in John 8:43-44, “Why do you not understand My speech? Because you are not able to listen to my word. You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources; for he is a liar and the father of it.” (emphasis added)

By contrast, in John 8:47, Jesus says, “He who is of God hears God’s words.”

Interestingly, Jesus goes on in John 8 to say in verses 51 and 52 that if anyone keeps his word, he shall never see or taste death.  This takes me right back to the garden. If you eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (essentially, if you disobey what God has said), you will surely die. Here in John 8, if you keep his word, you shall never see death.

What incredible contrasts between God versus Satan; life versus death; truth versus lies; obedience and subsequent blessing versus disobedience (or sin) and resulting judgment.

Genesis 3 makes it clear we needed a Savior. Thank you, Jesus, for being the serpent-crusher and rescuing us from sin and death through faith in You!

So who am I listening to? May I always listen to you, Lord, and believe You and speak truth to the lies that come against me.

Tomorrow, I’ll tell you why this is so important to me today.