September 2012

On Thursday I had arthroscopic knee surgery to try to resolve the issues I’ve had this month with pain in my knee, swelling, and not being able to walk well. The x-ray had shown what looked like a loose bone fragment, though the orthopedist seemed skeptical.

During surgery, he discovered that there was no bone fragment; rather, I have degenerative arthritis that has been causing the problems. He was able to smooth off the bones (if I understood correctly) to try to bring some relief.

I don’t really know much more at this point. I will go for my post-op visit on October 9 and find out more, I guess. It took me by surprise. I had hoped the surgery would be an easy fix to my problem, but it really only identified the real problem which may not be so easily fixed.

There’s no way to know how quickly this will progress. I am young to have it, and they don’t know what causes it. He told me some of the treatments, none of which I want. I’m hoping the surgery will help stabilize my knee and give me some time to try some different easier things.

Since this started on September 1st, I’ve been meditating on James 1, and I recited it over and over the day of surgery. “Consider it all joy, my beloved brethren, when you encounter various trials knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

Can I consider this unexpected trial a joy as it might produce in me endurance and a maturing of faith? The post yesterday about who I am listening to is timely for me because I must speak truth to this situation, and not listen to any other voice (not even my own) but His.

Already I sense the Lord’s nearness to me. I’ve shared before how God uses music and specific songs in my life. When we got in the car to drive home from the surgery, I turned on the radio, and this song (at the end of this post) was just starting. I’m not saying in this case this was a specific word from the Lord to me through this song, but it did make tears start to stream down my face. At the same time, my husband shouted out, “Do you hear this? Do you hear the words to this song? It’s your song for this!”
Then I came home and ran across this post by a friend of ours. Not only did he mention my life verse of 2 Cor. 12:9 and speak such beautiful truth about joy in times of difficulty or darkness, but one of the people who commented wrote out the verses I had been reciting all day from James 1.
I’ve seen God work miracles and healing in our lives. I don’t doubt His ability to heal me and help me in this or just slow the progression. But I know he doesn’t always choose to do that. With whatever the days ahead hold, the things I can be certain of are that He is with me, that He has a plan, that He has good for me, that He loves me, that He is in control, that my life is His, that He will be near to me, and that all things are possible with Him. I pray I keep my eyes fixed on Him and hear His Word and trust in Him alone.

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