Author: Carolyn

I am a Christian, a sinner saved by God's amazing grace. Much like my life, my blog is a work in progress. The main objective I have for this blog is to "proclaim the praises" of the One who called me out of darkness and into His marvelous light! (1 Peter 2:9)

Thankful

Carolyn

There are some things in life that always stay with you. They leave you so changed, and even when you’re not consciously thinking about it, it’s almost an ever present awareness. Then there are times that it all floods back.

I’ve been remembering a lot lately about my daughter’s birth. If you are squeamish, you might not want to look at the pictures. She was born at 27 weeks and spent her first 3 months of life in the hospital. Because I was under general anesthesia for the delivery, the first time I saw her was about 3:00 a.m. (after an afternoon delivery) when I was enough awake again and able to see clearly. She was in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit; I was in my own hospital room. I woke up excited to see the picture and asked my husband to turn on the lights and bring it over: “I can see now! Let me see her!” This is what I saw the first time I saw my daughter.


She was just over 2 pounds, and though this picture makes her look big, she was so small. She looked so much like my son did at birth, only obviously sick. They try to prepare you for a premature birth, and in some ways, I was, but not for that moment. I immediately cried and told my husband, “We have to pray right now.” We finished praying, and in walked the neonatologist. He had seen our light on and wanted to talk to us. He told us, “She’s touch and go.” She had had a reaction to the surfactant that they use to help the baby’s lungs, and they had sucked it back out, but she was extremely sick. He just wanted us to know.

Thus began the roller coaster ride that is the NICU, up and down moments for the next few months, life or death moments. When we saw her the following day, she was still lying on the little flat bed with what looked like saran wrap over it. That’s where they keep the preemies until they are stable enough for the incubator seen below. (By the way, I took pictures of pictures for this, so the flash makes some bright lights on these pictures.)


It’s so amazing to think a baby can be born this early and live! When she got home from the hospital, she looked more like this below — you can see her head had been often shaved for IVs and her muscles were very tight (the clinched fists). She was on an apnea monitor for a while, so you see the cord. And she was still pretty tiny, maybe 5 pounds here.


By Christmas time, she was 5 months old and about 7 1/2 pounds, and starting to look more like a normal baby. (That’s a flash glare on her head!)

It was a long couple of years. Here she is today, many miracles later, still small, but healthy.

There are times when it comes flooding back, and these last couple of weeks have been those times. I took her to her well check at the doctor’s last week. We talked about how well she has been these last 2 winters despite early asthma problems, and I realized how many health issues she has overcome. Though she never made her catch up growth, she is on the growth charts, even if just barely! These things make me very thankful to the Lord.

When I see that she has a mind that can think and she is doing well in school; when I see her heart for the Lord and love for Him; when I read the things she writes; when I see her work hard to run and keep up in P.E. (even if she comes in closer to the end), I am thankful. Thankful that this baby was healed to see and think and grow and live. Thankful to the Lord.

We had Fine Arts Day at school yesterday where the children could share their poetry and Scripture memory and hymns. In my daughter’s class, they recited Psalm 103 together, blessing the Lord that He forgives sin, heals diseases, redeems our lives from the pit, crowns us with lovingkindness and tender mercies, and satisfies us. Then each student recited one of the verses. The verses my daughter said (Psalm 103:17-18) were ones that were key verses for me in 2009 as I studied the fear of the Lord in depth that year.

She said, “But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep his covenant and remember to do his commandments.”

These were just promises I had reflected on and verses I had even shared in a video that I did for our school. Then to hear them coming out of her mouth — that those were the verses she was given to say alone — it was just a sweet blessing.

My heart is so full of the things He has done, the miracles He has worked, the things He has shown me. Great and marvelous are His works, mighty and powerful is He, and I praise Him and thank Him!

Psalm 145:6 “Men shall speak of the power of Thine awesome acts, and I will tell of Your greatness.”

Nature Study

Carolyn

These are the things we’ve seen in our yard this morning.



We saw this butterfly walking back from the library the other day.


As part of the kids’ curriculum at school, they regularly have “nature study,” where they study the trees or birds or some part of God’s creation. I think this has increased in them an enjoyment of observing things like this in detail!

We did not get a picture of the coyote that was in our driveway the other morning though! I called the city about another coyote we saw up on Main Street, but they told me they were finished trapping and they were hard to catch, but they knew about that one. He must hang out in that area of town. I guess it’s good no one’s worried!

Here are the kids picking out some new books for their reading and a few videos. We love the library.



Enjoy your weekend!

Release Date!

Carolyn

Today is the official release date of my husband’s book, and we are very excited about it. It’s been a long road to watch it go from the first thoughts in his head during the night to seeing it come to publication.

You can learn more here if you are interested.

We did not have a major celebration today; maybe we should have! 🙂 We went to lunch together yesterday and recounted the path. My husband took my daughter last night with some of his students to Medieval Times. (Last year he took my son, so this year was her turn.)

My son and I took our own little 15 minute road trip out to SONIC. He had it in his head that he loves it after having a shake there one time, so we ordered the works and fun drinks and even dessert, then sat crammed in the car trying to figure out how to balance all the food and not make a mess with everything. We ended our time in the Super Wal-Mart for groceries and considered it a fun evening!

Thankful for these simple blessings. Have a wonderful weekend!

My Rock

Carolyn

Psalm 18:1-3:
“I will love You, O LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised;
So shall I be saved from my enemies. ”

Thankful today that 5 years ago today, the Lord gloriously invaded my world and revealed Himself to me as I had never known. He is an awesome God, my Rock, my strength. Praise Him!

Powerful God

Carolyn

Note: I am reposting below a blog entry I did a while back because it’s been on my mind with yesterday being April 19th. I always remember this date because of what happened in 1995, but also because in 2002, on April 19th, my mom and step-dad were in a terrible highway accident. A lady pulled through the median into them in traffic. They were pinned in the car until they could be cut out, and my step-dad was airlifted to a Memphis hospital with a fractured neck and spent 8 weeks with a metal halo drilled in his head! So each year, I have many reasons to praise God for His protection and care for us in these things!

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April 19, 1995. I remember the date clearly because it was the same day as the Oklahoma City bombing. I was working as a legal assistant in Dallas for a small law firm. I was driving over to Tyler, Texas to pick up the record on appeal for a case on which we were working.

There was supposed to be bad weather, so the one attorney suggested I not go. The others didn’t think it would be bad, so I went ahead. As I entered the highway, my car slid out of control because of the wet ground. Thankfully, I didn’t hit anything, but it made me a little nervous about the travel ahead. The radio was, of course, on, and a song by Twila Paris was playing, “God is in Control.” “God is in control, we believe that His people will not be forsaken, God is in control, we will choose to remember and never be shaken, there is no power above or beside Him, we know, God is in control.”

The song gave me comfort and I chose to believe that He was in control of my travel that day. I went on, and as I did, it turned into the most beautiful and sunny day! Well, this wasn’t bad at all, I thought. But as I drove, after I would pass a town, a short time later, the radio announcer would say, “The tornado is now in X.” And X was whatever town I had just passed. But I wasn’t worried because it was so sunny and pretty now. Surely those towns were pretty big, and so the likelihood I would encounter anything on the way back seemed remote to me, I reasoned.

I ran into the Court of Appeals and got the record. As I started to head back to Dallas, I thought again about the storm, but went ahead. As I drove, it didn’t really occur to me that there were no other cars on the road; the highway was empty. But they obviously had heeded the warnings. I have never before encountered what I did that day. It literally went from blue and sunny to black, heavy rain, hail, and a total inability to see — literally, it seemed in one second flat. There was no transition from light to heavy rain — it just went light to dark in an instant, and I had zero visibility for the darkness, the torrential rain, and the softball size hail hitting the car!

I didn’t know what to do. The last thing I had seen was that there was an exit ramp just shortly ahead, but I couldn’t even see to drive. I inched along. Suddenly all the glass started breaking on the car, the back window blew in, I was covered in glass, rain and hail, and the car was flooding. I did the only thing I knew to do. I was screaming to God to help me. All I know is that my panic turned to peace as soon as I heard a song coming in from the radio. Yes, once again, Twila Paris, “God is in Control.” “God is in control, we believe that His people will not be forsaken. God is in control. We will choose to remember and never be shaken. There is no power above or beside Him, we know. God is in control.”

I clung to those words. There is no power above Him. He was right there with me. I remember the rain moving on enough that I could see to exit, and oddly, I still remember driving my car in a complete circle, so shaken, so unsure where to turn, which direction, that I literally held the wheel and kept going around in a circle. I saw a driveway and entered. It was a local country club. I went inside, and they were shocked that I had been caught out in that storm. They all testified, “We’ve never seen anything like it. We can’t believe you were caught in it!”

I was drenched and upset. They then said, “You need to get under the pool table with the others because it’s not over. The tornado hasn’t passed yet.” I decided not to do so as I couldn’t expect anymore could possibly happen. The men, who earlier had been out golfing, stood by the back windows and watched the tornado pass.

A nice lady followed me back to Dallas in my demolished car. It took several years for me not to shake all over when a storm would come up. I remember getting back to Dallas and hearing about the Oklahoma City bombing that day. I trust God was near to those and revealing Himself to them in their time of need, accomplishing His purposes in the midst of great tragedy.

Praise You, Lord, that You are the Sovereign Lord who controls all things and is all powerful. Thank You for Your protection in the midst of life’s storms and for making Your presence known when fear was threatening me. You are so worthy of all our trust!