"that you may proclaim the praises of the One who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light" 1 Peter 2:9
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Author: Carolyn
I am a Christian, a sinner saved by God's amazing grace. Much like my life, my blog is a work in progress. The main objective I have for this blog is to "proclaim the praises" of the One who called me out of darkness and into His marvelous light! (1 Peter 2:9)
September may be my favorite month. The heat of summer begins to give way to the cooler weather of fall. Everything launches again, whether schools and academic schedules or various activities and groups. A more typical routine resumes. It almost feels like the start of a new year when we make our resolutions as we set our fall schedule, our new goals and ways to grow. I can feel life regulating again, moving away from some of the free and unformed days of summer to days that are more planned and possibly even more productive.
As I start this post, I feel like an award winner who is going to try to thank and recognize all those who have impacted her life and contributed to this moment! Where do I begin on this Father’s Day, and how do I convey adequate thanks for so many loving men in my life through the years?!
I’ll start in Mississippi, where my mother, sister, and I were this past week for my uncle’s memorial service who passed away in May. He was such a dear man who loved his family dearly and was always so joyous and fun to be around. In the absence of my own father, it was a blessing to have loving uncles. This is a picture with Uncle Carl and my sister several years ago when we were together for the funeral of my other uncle.
Being in Mississippi reminds us of many childhood trips there to visit my dad’s family for summer and holidays. Though my dad had passed away when I was a baby, we always remained close to his family. What a gift!
It had been many years since I had been back to my father’s hometown. As a child, we always went by the cemetery to remember him when we were in town. The candy store, the swimming pool, the park, the local department store, and the cemetery were the places we frequented. My grandmother always had flowers there, as someone so graciously placed this past week on his and my grandparents’ headstones beside where we had my uncle’s burial service.
While we were at lunch at the church after my uncle’s service, a man named Jim came up and introduced himself. He told me he was a childhood friend of my father’s. They went to school together growing up, then to the same college. Jim was my father’s “big brother” in their fraternity. Jim moved to Miami after college, and my father and mother moved there as well. Jim was supposed to have lunch with my father the day he died. Instead, after my mom received word that my father had been in a wreck on his way to work, being at home with two young daughters and no car, having just moved to town, she left my sister and me with a neighbor she didn’t even know, and Jim came and took her to the hospital. He drove her back home after finding out my father had died. My mom didn’t see Jim again after that day. She flew to New Orleans with my father’s body on the plane. She was met there by family, and my dad was buried there in southern Mississippi near his family home. She then moved to Memphis to be near her family. Jim lived in Florida until recently when he moved back to Mississippi. And here we were meeting him, my sister and me for the first time, and my mom all these years later. He told us some stories about my dad, which I loved to hear!
As I remember my own father today, along with my wonderful uncles, grandfathers, and my step-father who played fatherly and spiritual roles in my life before their own deaths, I also give thanks to God for my husband and his father, pictured last weekend at a family wedding. They are two godly men who provide stability and constancy for our family.
I’m still getting caught up and rested from 9 days away for the family wedding in Chicago and then the funeral in Mississippi, flying in through New Orleans where my parents first lived after they were married, and reliving so many memories. It felt like a pilgrimage of sorts!
For the many fathers and father figures who have blessed my life, I give thanks to God today. Most of all, I praise God for being my loving and faithful heavenly Father who is always with me, leading and guiding me.
A few years ago, I listened to a podcast describing Jesus and His emotions in the Garden of Gethsemane. As I listened, I found myself teary thinking of Jesus as He faced the cross (Luke 22:39-46). Imagine His anguish (He was fully human after all) that literally caused him to sweat blood — and yet His willingness to stay and do the will of His Father. As God, He knew what was to happen. His suffering brought salvation for whoever believes in Him. It was costly for Him to die in our place, and it demonstrated His great love (Romans 5:8)!
The next morning, as I was getting coffee, still reflecting on this, these words went through my mind: “You have not resisted to the point of shedding blood.” I looked up that phrase and found it:
“In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.” (ESV).
Hebrews 12:4
Hebrews 12:4 would most certainly seem to be referring to the martyrs, to those who have suffered persecution for their faith. It follows Hebrews 11, that great hall of faith that concludes with martyrs who did shed their blood. And because Hebrews 12:1-3 (immediately before verse 4) urges us to fix our eyes on Jesus, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, it no doubt also points to Jesus’ death on the cross where he suffered, bled, and died.
But I think we can also gain encouragement by remembering Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane (Luke 22:39-46).
There in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus was resisting the great forces of evil, as he had done when tempted earlier by the devil in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11), both times during which an angel or angels ministered to Him. In His obedience, in doing His Father’s will, in withstanding temptation, not only did He save us, but He gave us an example to follow. If He could endure, we can endure, and His Word assures us He gives us the strength to do so (1 Corinthians 10:13).
This section of Scripture (Luke 22:39-46, Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane) is bookended with Jesus telling His disciples to go and pray that they would not enter into temptation. As He faced the cross, He didn’t ask them to pray for Himself, but twice told them to pray that they would not enter into temptation. Prayer is that necessary to defeating temptation. They instead fell asleep.
(As an aside, it’s made me wonder what might have happened if Peter had prayed that he wouldn’t enter into temptation–would he still have denied Jesus three times? Of course, this was part of a larger, sovereign plan. But what would happen if we pray, as Jesus told us in the Lord’s prayer, that we might not enter into temptation but be delivered from evil. Are we sleeping more than praying?)
In between these commands to the disciples to pray that they would not enter temptation, Jesus Himself prays the anguishing prayer that His Father might remove this cup from Him, but says, “Not my will, but yours, be done.” “Being in agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground” (Luke 22:44).
Returning to Hebrews 12:4, Barnes, in his “Notes on the Bible,” writes:
[T]he fact to which the apostle alludes, it seems to me, is the struggling of the Saviour in the garden of Gethsemane, when his conflict was so severe that, great drops of blood fell down to the ground . . . It is, indeed, commonly understood to mean that they had not yet been called to shed their blood as martyrs in the cause of religion; see Stuart Bloomfield, Doddridge, Clarke, Whitby, Kuinoel, etc. Indeed, I find in none of the commentators what seems to me to be the true sense of this passage, and what gives an exquisite beauty to it, the allusion to the sufferings of the Saviour in the garden.
Barnes goes on to give three reasons why he has this view, which you can read here by scrolling way down to the Hebrews 12:4 commentary and seeing his 3-part list. It is quite moving.
The question that strikes me as I read and studied this: In our struggling against sin, have we resisted to the point of shedding our blood? The answer most certainly and always will be no, we haven’t. (In fact, sometimes, I wonder if I put up much resistance at all!) If not, we must keep praying! This is so central to the victory He wants to give us! And we can then, in His power, keep enduring as He did, we can follow His example, we can receive His strength to resist. The Bible also tells us that endurance builds character and character, hope (Romans 5:3-5). It also gives us a promise that those who endure will reign with Him (2 Timothy 2:12).
So Remember the Garden of Gethsemane. It tells us of Jesus’ love and faithfulness, His determination to do the Father’s will, no matter the cost.
Remember the Garden. It reminds us He entered into humanity for us. Nothing we experience should tell us He’s disinterested or unloving. He died to rescue us. He loves us.
Remember the Garden. Pray that we would not enter into temptation.
Remember the Garden. If He could endure, there’s nothing we face (sin, temptation, etc.) that He can’t enable us to endure and resist, too.
Remember the Garden. Thank Him for making a way for us to be saved and to be victorious over sin and temptation in Jesus’ name.
Last night, I finished reading Beth Moore’s new beautiful memoir All My Knotted-Up Life. Having completed so many Beth Moore Bible studies through the years, beginning in 2005, and having known her for so long, many stories were familiar, but it gave a fuller look into her life. I have appreciated so much her passionate desire to know Christ, to know His Word, to be committed to the local church, to disciple women, and to express in such memorable and beautiful ways His truth. She is more creative than I think most know, with a great sense of humor, and a gifted communicator and giver of words that bring life and hope. Beth has a way of making the Bible come alive and sharing its profound truth in ways easy to understand and remember. Seeing her passion caused me to want to read and know my Bible and the Lord better. I can remember so many events in my life paralleling with her studies. At times, she has been misunderstood and misrepresented, but she has faithfully continued to walk with the Lord. I am grateful for her ministry and thankful for her influence in my life.
As I think about her book’s title, All My Knotted Up Life, and these knots of our lives that seem confusing and difficult, yet can become so redemptive, I am reminded of my favorite childhood author, Corrie Ten Boom. She had a book called Tramp for the Lord which mesmerized me, as a 9 or 10-year old girl, with the stories of God’s miracles. Corrie’s family lived in the Netherlands which was invaded in 1940 in World War 2. Her family provided a safe haven in their home for persecuted Jews. They were captured and ended up in a concentration camp where Corrie’s father and sister died. Through a clerical error, Corrie was released and went around the world telling people about Jesus and all He had done.
Corrie writes: “Although the threads of my life have often seemed knotted, I know, by faith, that on the other side of the embroidery there is a crown. As I have walked the world—a tramp for the Lord—I have learned a few lessons in God’s great classroom.” These lessons she shares in her book.
Corrie also shared a poem called “The Weaving.” I’m not sure if she wrote it or simply popularized it, but it reads:
My life is but a weaving Between my God and me. I cannot choose the colors He weaveth steadily.
Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow; And I in foolish pride Forget He sees the upper And I the underside.
Not ’til the loom is silent And the shuttles cease to fly Will God unroll the canvas And reveal the reason why.
The dark threads are as needful In the weaver’s skillful hand As the threads of gold and silver In the pattern He has planned
He knows, He loves, He cares; Nothing this truth can dim. He gives the very best to those Who leave the choice to Him.
I have thought of this poem often through my life. When things look knotted and messed up from our view, we will at some point be able to flip it over to see a beautiful masterpiece that God was weaving.
In August 2014, I was able to visit Corrie’s home in Haarlem, Netherlands. These two photos of a weaving hang in her family’s home there, along with one other reminding us that Jesus is Victorious!
One other meaningful thing to me is that in my office where I worked for 12 years, which was decorated before I arrived in it, over the desk hangs this same poem, which has been a regular reminder to me:
In Beth Moore’s book, she takes the meanings of these knots in our lives further and gives a greater view to God’s personal care for us through it. I encourage you to read it.
As I searched to find the meaning of “Jesus is Overwinnaar” in Dutch (“Jesus is Victorious!”), I came across this song by Selah which I’ll close with. I praise Him again today for the beautiful weaving He is making out of your life and mine.
I wrote the following post one year ago, on February 11, 2022, when we thought our beloved dog Missy was nearing death. In God’s kindness to answer our pleading, He brought her out of that near-death experience and gave us another full year with her — one in which we made a big move across country, and she was with us as we settled and as I work remotely. Now, in His perfect timing, Missy was laid to rest this week with great peace while we saw God’s hand in every detail. I had not published this a year ago because she lived. But I return to it today, and it’s all as true now as it was then.
Missy is our pandemic dog. It wasn’t planned by us that way; it’s just how it worked out.
I’ve written here about the way in which she came to us. It was November 2019, when my son got her. It was March 2020 after Covid sent college students back home that she arrived in our home and never left. My son’s college was not able to resume in-person classes in Fall 2020, so they both remained with us while he finished his last semester. My daughter took a semester off in Spring 2021, so she also spent a 9 month stretch of time at home unexpectedly. Together, as a family during Covid, this little dog united us, brought us joy, and served as a focal point. We surely enjoyed Missy collectively, but she also meant something to us individually.
For me, I am the one who spent the most time in the house during Covid, working from home. The kids came and went, be it college or work, and were in and out. My husband worked from home the first year, but had various job transitions and writing projects that brought change and new challenges, and he traveled off and on during Covid to get away from the feeling of being shut in the house! My life remained most unchanged, sitting alone in the den on the sofa with my laptop open, working throughout the day, with Missy snuggled in close beside me. If I didn’t have the computer on my lap, she would be there. In the quietness of the house, it was Missy and me.
I had dogs growing up. Every time we lost one, the grief was great. I had vowed never to have another one. It wouldn’t be worth it to feel that pain of losing them. And yet, Missy was basically placed into our hearts and home, and we all loved her. She became part of the family. I liked to say we used to have a house where a dog could live, but over time, it became like a dog house where people could live! We had adapted so much to her and whatever she faced as she aged.
Yes, the pain is great, but the love is greater. I would do it again in a heartbeat because the love she brought, the comfort and joy, the unity of our family around this little dog. It was unequaled.
I think grief over a dog is a shadow grief of larger griefs over loved ones in life. It gives us a small taste of what that will be like to lose someone. And death is perhaps the greatest reminder this earth is not what it should be. We weren’t meant to die. And yet it’s an inescapable part of life. We’ve never seen that more clearly these last two years with Covid. Death, in one way or another, comes for all of us. But not without hope for those in Christ.
It’s just as the Bible tells us. There is sin, pain, and suffering in this world. We both experience this and contribute to it! But we have a Savior who identifies with our suffering and weakness, who humbly served us and gave his very life for us, to reconcile us to Himself. He is in the process of making all things new, whereby one day, there will be no more pain and suffering. So we feel the pain and remember it is not the end of our story. Through it, God is ushering in new things. I’m so thankful to be part of His story and the grand unfolding of life with the hope of eternal life ahead. Death is but an entry way back to life for those who are in Christ.
Now animals are different. They are not made in the image of God like humans. But they are a very significant and important part of His creation. Who knows what the new heavens and new earth will be like one day? I like to hope our beloved pets might be there. Maybe that is sentimental, but there are enough hints in Scripture to let us know it’s possible, and either way, it will be good! (See Randy Alcorn’s book Heaven and his chapters about “Animals.” You’ll be surprised that there’s a lot more in Scripture about them than we might know.)
Though it seemed Missy arrived unexpectedly on the scene of our lives, I know there was nothing accidental about it. She was brought to us by God, on purpose and with purpose, and meant something special and different to each one in our family, while we collectively were blessed. She was a gift from God during a season of need, given out of love by a good God who can fully be trusted. Missy was planned in His heart for us, and we rejoice over every moment spent with her.
Praise Proclaimer 