Tag: strength

Lifesong

Carolyn

I wondered tonight what I should write on, reflect upon. I thought that as I did my Bible study, the Lord would reveal it. I first read through some old journals as I was looking for something else, but I was struck as I read those journals about how much the Lord had used Isaiah 40:28-31 in my life. These verses tell me to trust in Him, to wait upon Him, to hope in Him. He gives strength to the weary, power to those that trust in Him!

I then proceeded to do my very last lesson in Breaking Free, a 10-week Bible study by Beth Moore that some friends and I started months ago (we stretched it out)! What (among other things) did she talk about in this last lesson? Isaiah 40:28-31!

Beth asks the reader to offer feedback concerning the relationship between weariness and self-effort or renewed strength and the presence of God. Doesn’t it seem that it is often the weariness in self effort that ultimately brings us to the end of ourselves and to God? A few years ago, God very vividly showed me that I lacked strength, but that His strength was perfected in my weakness. (II Corinthians 12:9-11). I often think of this concept of His strength in my weakness as my “lifesong.”

As literally everything I do and am is under Him and His authority, I am dependent on Him and accountable to Him for everything, from the breath I breathe, to the thoughts I think, to the actions I take. His Word provides me with everything I need for life and godliness. His Spirit guides me into truth. I am filled with hope because He has given me all I need and truly gives me the strength to be and do what I cannot in my own strength.

These truths have changed my life, and I want others to know these truths, too, and to not miss the exciting walk of faith God has for us as we trust in Him and allow Him to be our strength. I hope to share a story of one way He has shown me this in my next blog entry this week.

Isaiah 40:28-31:
“Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.”

Seeing the Sunshine

Carolyn

I was excited tonight to sit down and watch the Olympic men’s ice skating competition. I watched an American named Jeremy, then thought I would just close my eyes during the commercials. The next time I opened my eyes, they were giving out the medals. So much for a nice evening watching the competition! I guess I needed the rest!

Before the day ends, I just wanted to thank the Lord for the sunshine today. Even yesterday, I was realizing what a long winter it is where we live and wondering how long it has been since we’ve seen the sun for longer than just a few moments. I’ve been in a little bit of a rut with just the monotony of a long winter, feeling like I am on the go constantly, racing from one thing to the next, and just weary, then frustrated that I should be discouraged for really no reason, save perhaps my own lack of discipline. It’s my own fault for not better planning my day, taking time to sit and read or be still, spending more time with my children that is focused, meeting the family’s needs for things like… say, dinner! So after just feeling out of sorts yesterday, it was a real blessing to have a warmer day and see the sun all day! I am thankful.

My friend said today what we really need and should pray for is to be like Paul who says in Philippians 4 that he had learned the secret of being content in all things. That hit home for me. I don’t want my joy to be dependent on my circumstances. And Paul ends that passage by saying he can do all things through Christ who gives him the strength to do it! That was an encouragement both to hear and ponder.

Weakness and Self Humiliation

Carolyn

Tuesday was perhaps the lowest moment of my entire “professional” life.

I’ve struggled to think if perhaps there’s been a worse moment for me in all my years of working, but only one can even compete (and that’s a story all unto itself… litigation involving accusations that pesticides required a family to abandon their home led to a document production at the abandoned house in East Texas back in the spring 1994… we wandered through a football size field of grass up to my waist… opposing counsel was there zipped into the most enormous yellow protective suit — to protect him from the snakes and pesticides… I’m there with our 2 laywers calling it all bunk, and I’m hoping they’re right as the other lawyer questions them about taking me into that house for documents given that I’m of childbearing age! By the time I had wandered through those fields, scared to death of snakes, wondering how I got dragged into this, my allergies kicked in, and my nose ran, my eyes watered, I sneezed again and again, and I had not so much as a tissue for the next couple of hours. I sat on the porch of that dusty, abandoned house trying to control all this, while the lead lawyer says to me in disbelief, “What’s WRONG with you?” “Allergies,” I answer. Truth is, I don’t even really have allergies, but anyone who wades in waist deep grass for a stretch in the hot Texas sun can develop them immediately, I found.). I realize that was a long parenthetical, but alas, that day did not compare with this past Tuesday.

I was taking part in a video shoot. Interestingly, I had prayed at length about this. I had recently read a John Piper article on words — and so my prayer had been that the Lord would keep me humble and Himself exalted. I wanted to be guided by the double criterion Piper describes: self humiliation and Christ exaltation.

I had no idea what that prayer would lead to — true self humiliation, sheer embarrassment even, tears as I couldn’t articulate a compelling message for the video, despite probably 5 hours of preparation. We’ve yet to see if any of those words can even be used, but my suspicion is, if they are, given my complete and total inadequacy and failure, Christ alone would be able to make it something where He can be glorified.

In spite of it all, I’m thankful for it. It’s one of those moments you know God designed to be just what it was. And He revealed to me some other things I needed to know — “Cease striving,” I felt. “Quit trying so hard to be all things here. Be about the other things I’m called to be.”

Should I blog about my single worst moment? I don’t know. I’ve already been so reduced, it seems of little consequence to share it on my blog. I guess I like the fact that God uses the weak; He gives us His strength even when we can’t see it; and He is sovereign and purposeful. So I praise Him for these things today!