Our Great Shepherd and Savior

Carolyn

When we decorated the tree this year, I saw this little ornament and it reminded me of a great, true Christmas story from 2005!

A little background… I have a dear friend whose husband walked closely with the Lord and was used by God in the lives of so many people through his passionate zeal for God. Somewhere around 1998, he decided he wasn’t so sure anymore and he decided to set his faith aside and wanted no more to do with it. My friend kept looking to the Lord and praying and waiting and hoping that God would bring her husband back to Himself.Fast forward then to 2005. By this time, it seems highly unlikely he will ever return to the Lord, from a human perspective. He’s a great guy, super nice, leading a good life, why does he need anything more? Our prayers continue. In the times of discouragement, the Lord continued to sustain and encourage my friend, and there were times where you just cling to the words of truth and hope found in Scripture and continue to believe God is able.

In April 2005, right after I had surrendered my life to the Lord more deeply, I was praying each day and asking the Lord what He would want me to do each day… someone to reach out to, something He wanted me to do. One day, I couldn’t get my friend’s husband off my mind. I felt like there was a book I should share with him and that I should encourage him that the Lord loved him and was seeking him still. But how? It seemed the right way was to call. He’d surely never read a letter.

I was nervous to call. I wanted a sign. I told the Lord that it would be great if a certain song would play on the radio, then I could know. It was a song that echoed the message of the book, but they weren’t playing it as much anymore on the radio. As I stood confessing to the Lord that I shouldn’t have to have a sign, I finished praying, and what song should start… yes, Much of You by Steven Curtis Chapman, the one I wanted to hear. As the song ended, the radio announcer came on, and they were having a pledge drive, and the voice said, “Make the call. Make the call.” How funny. They were referring to the call the radio station and pledge, but I took it to mean, “ok, here’s the song, I’ll make the call.”

I dialed their number, got the machine, nearly hung up, but held on and waited for the beep and started talking. I don’t even remember what I said, but I think it was mostly telling him that I knew God loved him and wanted him to return, that He was seeking him, and that there was a book I thought he would like. I mailed him the book, and that was the end of the story. No great turnaround, that was it.

So fast forward to Christmastime 2005. It’s been 8 months. I’ve never spoken to him since that message. It’s about December 23, and I called my friend at home. I was totally unprepared for when her husband answered the phone. It’s that brief moment of confusion when you hear a different voice and think “who did I call,” and then I realized who it was and thought “now what!?” She wasn’t home, but he was working from home. I was nervous that I was interrupting his work, so I hesitated to keep him on the phone, but I felt I should address the call in April. I did. I can’t remember the exact conversation, but he was nice, said it just didn’t work for him, that’s fine for me and he understood my calling if that’s what I believe. He is a really smart guy, and I just remember feeling like such a fool after he explained his way of thinking. I didn’t even reply much because I knew he was working and so that was it.

I hung up the phone and sobbed. Shamefully, part of my tears were out of embarrassment, but most of them were over the fact of how hard his heart seemed, and was there ANY hope that God would change this heart. I went to my bedroom and grabbed my prayer book (Face to Face) which I had not read that day. As soon as I opened it, the first verse was, “I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of salvation to all who believe.” I lay on my bedroom floor and cried and prayed for him.

I later heard something break. We had had our Christmas tree up for 2-3 weeks now, and my children knew not to touch and had not touched the ornaments! In fact, the tree had fallen on my daughter after she pulled it a year or two before, so she had proper respect for the tree and always kept her distance. But for some reason, she uncustomarily had touched a gold ball, and there it was broken on the floor.

As I was cleaning it up, I was on my hands and knees under the tree, and I looked up and my eyes caught this ornament right in front of me, hidden back in the tree, but now in my face. It’s just a little cross stitched ornament that I had never thought much of that someone made me years before. It says, “Joyful Spirit Jer. 33:11” — that’s the meaning of my name. As I looked at it, it puzzled me why someone would choose a verse from Jeremiah for “joyful spirit.” Aren’t there lots of psalms about joy?

Anyway, I went to my Bible to look up the verse. It said: “the voice of joy and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the voice of those who will say, ‘Praise the LORD of hosts, For the LORD is good, For His mercy endures forever’ — and of those who will bring the sacrifice of praise into the house of the LORD. For I will cause the captives of the land to return as at the first, says the LORD.”

When I read this, I knew it was about my friend’s husband! I almost felt it was the Lord saying not to fear, that He would cause this captive to return as at the first! I was later able to share with my friend the events of the day, finding this Scripture. To my amazement, she replied, “You have no way of knowing this, but that is the passage I’ve prayed for him (her husband) for the last 7 years!”

Well, the story continues, and there are many other amazing things that God did over the next 2 years to continue to encourage us that He was at work and would bring this man back. And yes, my friend’s husband DID return to the Lord in 2007, slowly at first, but now completely and with his full heart! It’s been remarkable to see what God has done in their lives since then.

I could blog story after story of what God did in this, but today I wanted to remember Christmas 2005 and the ornament, what God spoke through it. I’m thankful that God pursues His people, the great Shepherd who seeks his lost sheep. His timeline and ways are not the same as ours, but they are good and right. We should never lose heart.

Praise Your Name, Jesus. At this season of Christmas, we remember that You came to earth to save us, so that sin should no longer have a hold on us. You deliver Your people from bondage and set them free to love and know You. And You fill us with great joy! Your sacrifice for us has given us new and eternal life in You, and our sins are forgiven through faith in You.

Praise the LORD of hosts, For the LORD is good, For His mercy endures forever!

Weakness and Self Humiliation

Carolyn

Tuesday was perhaps the lowest moment of my entire “professional” life.

I’ve struggled to think if perhaps there’s been a worse moment for me in all my years of working, but only one can even compete (and that’s a story all unto itself… litigation involving accusations that pesticides required a family to abandon their home led to a document production at the abandoned house in East Texas back in the spring 1994… we wandered through a football size field of grass up to my waist… opposing counsel was there zipped into the most enormous yellow protective suit — to protect him from the snakes and pesticides… I’m there with our 2 laywers calling it all bunk, and I’m hoping they’re right as the other lawyer questions them about taking me into that house for documents given that I’m of childbearing age! By the time I had wandered through those fields, scared to death of snakes, wondering how I got dragged into this, my allergies kicked in, and my nose ran, my eyes watered, I sneezed again and again, and I had not so much as a tissue for the next couple of hours. I sat on the porch of that dusty, abandoned house trying to control all this, while the lead lawyer says to me in disbelief, “What’s WRONG with you?” “Allergies,” I answer. Truth is, I don’t even really have allergies, but anyone who wades in waist deep grass for a stretch in the hot Texas sun can develop them immediately, I found.). I realize that was a long parenthetical, but alas, that day did not compare with this past Tuesday.

I was taking part in a video shoot. Interestingly, I had prayed at length about this. I had recently read a John Piper article on words — and so my prayer had been that the Lord would keep me humble and Himself exalted. I wanted to be guided by the double criterion Piper describes: self humiliation and Christ exaltation.

I had no idea what that prayer would lead to — true self humiliation, sheer embarrassment even, tears as I couldn’t articulate a compelling message for the video, despite probably 5 hours of preparation. We’ve yet to see if any of those words can even be used, but my suspicion is, if they are, given my complete and total inadequacy and failure, Christ alone would be able to make it something where He can be glorified.

In spite of it all, I’m thankful for it. It’s one of those moments you know God designed to be just what it was. And He revealed to me some other things I needed to know — “Cease striving,” I felt. “Quit trying so hard to be all things here. Be about the other things I’m called to be.”

Should I blog about my single worst moment? I don’t know. I’ve already been so reduced, it seems of little consequence to share it on my blog. I guess I like the fact that God uses the weak; He gives us His strength even when we can’t see it; and He is sovereign and purposeful. So I praise Him for these things today!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Carolyn

Hebrews 13:15 “Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name.”

I’m a day late. But how can I hope to give praise to the Lord through this blog and skip this holiday of giving thanks? It was a great week having family in town, going to a school praise night on Tuesday, going to a Thanksgiving eve service at church on Wednesday, and celebrating Thanksgiving with extended family yesterday. What a full few days it has been!

How can I measure the fullness of what God has done and for which I should be thankful? For starters, I think of the amazing list in Ephesians 1 & 2 of what is ours through Christ; in Him, I am:

loved,
blessed,
chosen,
adopted,
accepted,
redeemed,
forgiven,
predestined,
sealed with the Spirit,
called,
rich,
given grace,

and I have:

obtained an inheritance,
been brought near by His blood,
been made alive,
been raised up with Christ,
been seated with Christ in the heavenlies, and
been given access by one Spirit to the Father.

My mind can’t totally comprehend, my eyes don’t often clearly see, and my heart too often fails to even acknowledge it. I too often sit “full, but unfulfilled,” a phrase I just picked up from a book called Making All Things New by Henri Nouwen. Nouwen suggests we are full, meaning busy with our lives, yet unfulfilled, as in bored or depressed in the midst of our being busy.

Nouwen urges his reader to seek the things above and His kingdom, and set our hearts on Christ through the spiritual disciplines of solitude and community.

Solitude. Time alone with God in a small room or area of a room or prayer closet where we close out the distractions, begin reading Scripture, pray, and allow ourselves to hear the voice of God’s Spirit. Even just 10 minutes a day — it can be in small doses, but needs to be consistent & regular. It’s something we can dread to start until we begin to see what God does through time spent with Him.

I need to go back to cultivating the discipline of solitude. (Although since “solitude” is about being alone, I guess it’s not really solitude since the Lord is there!) But time with Him to read the Bible and pray and let His Spirit lead and speak.

I find I am forgetful, just as the Israelites of old were. Thus the many reminders throughout Scripture to “remember:” “Remember what great things He has done for you.” I want to remember. I want to meditate on His greatness and power, on who He is, and on who I am because of Him.

And in remembering His great mercy and love, lavishly poured out on me through Christ, I want to give Him thanks and praise Him today and always.

My Hope Is in the Lord

Carolyn

Today I feel full of praise and joy at the fact that my hope is in the Lord.

A group of ladies from work have been going through Beth Moore’s Psalms of Ascent study. The title of this week’s study was “My Hope Is in the Lord.” Psalm 130 and 131 encourage us to put our hope in the Lord and in His word. What perfect timing to reflect on that this last week.

One morning this week, after studying these psalms and focusing on the Lord being my hope, I went to the kitchen to fix lunches. I turned on the radio, and Chris Tomlin’s song, Jesus Messiah, was playing. I realized that though I had spent quiet time with the Lord, I hadn’t knelt down that morning to Him, so with that beautiful song playing, it seemed a good time to kneel before Him. As I did and started singing with the song, I realized the words I was saying, “All our HOPE is in You, LORD, All our HOPE is in You, LORD, all the glory to You, LORD…”

Then this morning, when I awoke and went to the kitchen, I flipped on the radio, and they were giving the election update. They then immediately played “Jesus Messiah”: “All our HOPE is in You, LORD, All our HOPE is in You, LORD.” Perfect timing, perfect reminder.

One other neat thing… for the last few days, a hymn has been flowing through my head. I thought the words might begin with “My Hope is in the Lord,” but it wasn’t familiar enough to know. I just now thought to look it up because it’s flowing through my head again, and yes, I found it, and here is what it tells me:

“My hope is in the Lord
Who gave Himself for me,
And paid the price of all my sin at Calvary.

Refrain: For me He died,
For me He lives,
And everlasting life and light He freely gives.

No merit of my own
His anger to suppress.
My only hope is found in Jesus’ righteousness.

And now for me He stands
Before the Father’s throne.
He shows His wounded hands
and names me as His own.

His grace has planned it all,
‘Tis mine but to believe,
And recognize His work of love and Christ receive.”

All our HOPE is in You, LORD. You are Jesus Messiah. You hold our lives and our futures. You have a purpose and plan. I trust You. And I love You. Praise You, Lord!

Sovereign God

Carolyn

I’ve been thinking a lot about the election in recent weeks.

  • I’m thankful for a Sovereign God who is seated on the throne in the heavens and whose kingdom rules over all (Psalm 103:19).
  • I’m thankful to know that He alone raises up and brings down leaders and rulers (Daniel 2:21).
  • I’m thankful that He alone can do all things, and that nothing is too hard for Him (Jeremiah 32.17).
  • I’m thankful that He alone is great and worthy of all praise (Psalm 145:3), worthy as the Lamb who was slain to receive all power, wealth, wisdom, strength, honor, glory, and praise (Rev. 5:12).
  • I’m thankful that He sets my feet on the Rock (Psalm 40:2) and keeps me secure.
  • In Him, I have complete confidence and hope, and I have no cause for fear.
  • He is my Rock, fortress, deliverer, strength, salvation, and shield (II Samuel 22; Psalm 18).
  • He will not forsake those who trust in Him (Psalm 9:10).

I’m thankful that tonight, the Lord knows the outcome of tomorrow. He knows the beginning from the end, and He is not surprised. May His good and perfect will be done.

When I got on here tonight, I was wanting to write about abortion. A few friends have stirred my soul with their comments the last weeks. I wanted to write about how I studied it in high school. How we learned how early a baby can feel. How I learned about the lies women are told. How I have heard their sorrows and feel grieved by this reality.

I wanted to write about how I had a life threatening pregnancy. How I had a daughter born, small and frail, but fully formed and beautiful at 27 weeks. How I saw those babies in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit who were born during the 2nd trimester — and they were living and breathing. How I used to wonder what someone would do if someone walked in the NICU and tried to end their lives! How it would be ok to do that if they were under the cover of their mother’s tummy still. What an unbelievable horror! What an unbelievable sorrow! Can this be real? They could feel. They could move and breathe. They are created in God’s image, knit together by Him in their mothers’ wombs, fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139). Who will speak for them? Who will cast a vote for life? Who will give them a choice?

There are certainly many other issues to consider in this election, but I hope we won’t too quickly step past this one. That we won’t allow the openness of our minds to veil our eyes and close our hearts to this atrocious practice.

For those of us who may be one-issue voters, of the likes of William Wilberforce who labored his entire adult life against slavery, I pray when this election is over, no matter the outcome, that we will find ways to support the pro-life movement with more than a single vote every 4 years. That we will contact our local crisis pregnancy center and see what we can do. That we will give money or time or prayers or thoughts to this and actively seek God for ways He would have us be involved, be they small or big.

I got on here to write about that, about abortion. But when I started writing, the truth of His Word, hidden in my heart, began to flow out, and I felt peace. Peace like a river. Peace about tomorrow. Peace because my Savior lives and rules.