Idols

Carolyn

We heard a portion of a Tim Keller sermon at a church seminar this last Sunday, and he talked about our idols, which can be our identity, security, power, etc. Keller said that an idol is a false, pseudo-salvific treasure, and that every treasure other than God enslaves us. Those idols demand that we do anything to get them. But Jesus is the One treasure who died to purchase us. This makes Him our ultimate treasure when we understand that we are His ultimate treasure.

Keller’s talk has had me thinking more about my “idols.” I like to think I don’t have any, that maybe I’ve struggled with things in the past, but I’ve progressed to the point that those things are done away with! Ha! I really think that they may be something that will regularly creep up upon us and that we will have to deal with over and over again in our lives. But as we learn more about who God is and as He becomes our all, we might move more quickly past those struggles as we speak His truth and refuse to wallow there in them.

I looked up the word “idol” (yes, dictionary.com!) and a couple of the definitions struck me:

  • a mere image or semblance of something, visible but without substance, as a phantom
  • a figment of the mind; fantasy.

I’ve been pondering James 1:17 the last couple of weeks, about there being no variation or shifting shadow with our heavenly Father. I’ve also been pondering Romans 12:2 about being transformed by the renewing of our mind so that we can prove the good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Both those verses make me think of something solid, unchanging, perfect, good — just the opposite of an idol that has no substance, is a figment of the mind, a phantom!

One other thing I’ve been wondering about: do you think idols are born out of our losses and wounds? Where we have been hurt or feel a wound, we seek to fill it with something. And when it’s not God, it is an idol, something that can’t ever fill that need or void, but can give the image that it does. We rob ourselves of all God can do to fill those places and free us when we seek other things to do so.

I’ve been personally struggling this week with one of those old losses that resulted in an empty place that God has more than filled. But lies often come to tell me something false, and I need to go back to square one all over again. Praise Him that He is more than faithful to expose those false ways of thinking and place me again on a firm foundation.

Psalm 95:6-7
“Come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the LORD our Maker. For He is our God, and we are the people of His pasture, and the sheep of His hand.”

The Lord is My Shepherd

Carolyn

Each new year, I try to choose a theme to reflect on for the coming year. In 2009, it was “the fear of the Lord.” In 2010, it was “God is Light.” I am always amazed at how much comes up during the year when focusing on a theme like this and how every time it comes up, I see something from a different angle.

Until this week, I hadn’t finalized my theme for 2011, though I had considered a “Shepherd” theme. In early December, I was praying through Psalm 23 one morning and read John 10:7-18 about Jesus being our good Shepherd. The good Shepherd gives His life for the sheep, knows His sheep and they know Him, and knows His Father. There is One Shepherd, and His sheep hear His voice.

On December 26, I wrote in my journal that I was considering this “Shepherd” theme for 2011. I read I Peter 2:25 and Ezekial 34 and thought about God as the Shepherd and Overseer of our souls.

Well, the year got started and I had not formalized anything more on my theme, sort of jumping right into the new year. But my heart this week had been very restless and unsettled. I needed peace. I needed my mind to be calm and controlled by the Spirit. I went to work Wednesday, feeling tired and needy. I asked the Lord to give me a Word from Him because of my restlessness.

I went to chapel (at the school where I work) for the first time in a while. The chaplain to my surprise spoke on Psalm 23. “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.”

I loved those words of refreshment, restoration, reminding me of the confidence I have in Him that He is worthy of all my trust. He leads me in the right path. I have no need with Him.

I felt led to read Psalm 100 before I left the sanctuary. I did not remember that it also speaks of our Shepherd: “Know that the LORD Himself is God; it is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; we are His people and the sheep of His pasture.”

Finally, I ended in Ecclesiastes 12:11-14, finding that the words of the wise are given by one Shepherd. I am to fear God and keep His commands.

I’m so thankful for our faithful God who reveals Himself to us through His Word. I now have my theme firmly in place for 2011: the Lord is my Shepherd. I’m looking forward to seeing more how He leads and guides this sheep in the coming year!

A Couple of Quotes

Carolyn

I’m just posting some quotes that I’ve liked this week.

The first one my friend wrote about in our school newsletter, but I thought it was nice for this time of year:

Dietrich Bonhoeffer:

“Advent creates people, new people. We too are supposed to become new people in Advent. Look up, you whose gaze is fixed on this earth, who are spellbound by the little events and changes on the face of the earth. Look up to these words, you who have turned away from heaven disappointed. Look up, you whose eyes are heavy with tears and who are crying over the fact that the earth has gracelessly torn us away. Look up, you who, burdened with guilt, cannot lift your eyes. Look up, your redemption is drawing near. Something different from what you see daily will happen. Just be aware, be watchful, wait just another short moment. Wait and something quite new will break over you. God will come.”

I’ve also been reading in F. B. Meyer’s book The Secret of Guidance. I liked many of his quotes, but here is one I particularly liked:

“If you do not know what to do, stand still until you do. And when the time comes for action, circumstances, like glowworms, will sparkle along your path. You will become so sure that you are right, when God’s three witnesses [the Word, the Spirit, and circumstances] concur, that you could not be surer though an angel beckoned you on. The circumstances of our daily life are to us an infallible indication of God’s will when they concur with the inward promptings of the Spirit and with the Word of God.”

I suppose those quotes don’t even seem to be connected, but I just liked them both, each a reminder to look to Him and to wait on Him. When I wait uncertain of what to do, I can trust God will reveal to me perfectly the steps to take. And look up — keeping my eyes heavenward — when I’m tired and busy this season. I don’t want to miss either the beauty of the season or the beautiful things He does.

School

Carolyn

From time to time, I have people ask me how we got involved with the classical Christian school that my children attend. For months, I’ve wanted to write it down because it was such an amazing display to me of God’s power. As we are at the 5 year mark, it seemed a good time to do so:

Just before Thanksgiving 2005 — My brother-in-law was leaving town for Thanksgiving, but ran by our house to drop something off. He had just been to breakfast with a business acquaintance, and this man (now our head of school) told him about a school that he and his wife were hoping to start. He gave my brother-in-law a small envelope of information, which my brother-in-law brought directly to me and told me he thought I would be interested.

I read the flyer about the classical school that was starting. Having sent my son to public school for Kindergarten and homeschooling him for first grade, we were unsure what to do for the following year. We had liked both of those options for different reasons, but were not settled about what we should do long term. (And let me note here that this is not a commentary on which educational option might be best for a family. This is a story of God’s amazing power and work in our lives! I know He calls different families to different schools, sometimes even for different children, and it can all change year to year. I’ve seen and experienced that, so I just want to clarify that.) Anyway, this possibility definitely interested us!

I immediately emailed my friends telling them about the upcoming informational meeting. I called my friend Mindy to see if she would be interested; I still remember her saying at the end of our conversation: “It’s like the Lord is creating a school just for us!” Isn’t that how personal God can be?

December 5, 2005 — I believe this was the date of the school’s first interest meeting; we attended with many of our friends, and I was pretty much sold! We had things we would need to figure out, though, before we could jump on board, such as how to afford it. I remember at some point calling Julie, the woman who had the original vision for the school, and asking her if I could be part of the prayer group for the school even if I wasn’t able to send my kids there. She said that would be OK!

December 30, 2005 — While at my mom’s house for Christmas break, I woke up that morning with the words “one eighteen eight” going through my head loudly over and over. It was like the words of a Bible verse: “118:8; 118:8; 118:8” over and over. Only on a couple of occasions had I had verses in my head like this, and in both those cases, it would become very obvious what the Lord had in it! So I went and looked up Psalm 118:8, knowing this would be the only Bible verse this reference could mean as no other book of the Bible has that many chapters.

Psalm 118:8 said: “It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.”

So I began to ponder what application that might have for my life. But I knew that though I could apply it to many things, there would be one clear thing. I told the Lord I would wait to see what He wanted to show me.

December 31, 2005 — I believe this is the first prayer meeting that the school had, on New Year’s Eve. We were still in Memphis, so we did not attend, but God was doing His own work on our hearts at that time.

Sunday, January 1, 2006 — Before church, I did a short devotion with the children on Jacob & Esau. They were then sitting on the floor in my mom’s den watching a Scooby Doo and eating pop-tarts (at grandmother’s house, remember?), and I was sitting in the back of the room on my mom’s sofa reading my Bible. I was trying to decide what to study next as I had just finished a Beth Moore study on the Patriarchs and Genesis. (I had been given an advance copy and studied it alone, without the videos, and was absolutely fascinated by the connections between the Old and New Testaments!) As I sat there, it seemed like Exodus would be the next logical place to go.

While I was sitting there thinking, my 7 year old son stood up from his food and TV, walked across the room to some bookshelves (my mom has floor to ceiling bookshelves on either side of a fireplace), scanned around and grabbed a yellow book and walked it over and laid it in my lap, then went back and sat back down to keep eating and watching TV.

I looked at the yellow book in my lap, and it was entitled A Devotional Commentary on Exodus, by F.B. Meyer. I was in shock! I asked my son, knowing full well he would have no idea that my intent was to study Exodus as I had been alone in the back of the room in my thoughts, but nonetheless, I said, “Did you see what I was reading and happen to know this book was on the shelf?” And he replied, “What? What do you mean?” And I called him over and showed him how the book said “Exodus” and I pointed to my Bible and showed him “Exodus,” and he said, “Oh, neat.” He had not / could not have seen this and had no idea and didn’t even know why he went to get the book! It was as though the Lord was giving me something He wanted me to have while I studied Exodus. It became the perfect book for me to study over the next several months as we were led out of something into something new that God was doing, and we were being called to trust Him, even when things would be hard and it would be easy to complain or want to give up (like the Israelites in the desert)! God used that study in the most remarkable ways!

January 4, 2006 — The question on my heart was school. I knew we didn’t want to homeschool long term, but wasn’t certain of God’s will. I went to read an email we had received from Doug (who was starting the school). He put the website on the email, and when I clicked to go there, when it came up, it said, “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.” Then there was a picture of a tree and another verse from Psalm 1:3.

The reason all of this was significant to me is that the verse there from Jeremiah 17:7 is the exact same verse as found in Psalm 118:8, the verse I had been woken up with the week before. I looked it up in my Bible, and beside Jeremiah 17:7, it said in the column “Psalm 118:8.”

Then we had been been homeschooling, we were studying Psalm 1, and we had drawn a tree and studied a tree in our yard and named him “Roots” and talked about all of these very themes that were pictured on the website!

To me, all of these things combined were clear calling that I couldn’t resist. I wrote in my journal, “I believe this is from the Lord as confirmation to pursue this. But Lord, You would have to provide. But I know You are the Lord who provides manna and water from the Rock! Let me see You do this!” I continued to pray for His confirmation and that He would use a lunch that my husband was having with Doug that Friday morning. What I did not want was me to lead the way and insist we go after this if my husband wasn’t for it, too. We had done that with homeschooling, and that is just a miserable thing to be in two different places on something.

January 6, 2006 — My husband had lunch with the head of school and learned that I could possibly work at the school, and his heart was completely on board, having no reservations.

I wrote in my journal, “Even as I write this, I feel excitement at how one day, I’ll look back at this and see how and what You did and glory to Your Name!”

Thus began our journey! We were convinced it was from the Lord. We continued to see Him do mighty things:

  • I prayed my son would have good friends, especially some boys since all his cousins and our neighbors and his sister were girls. By the time the school started, there were not only 5 boys in his combined 1st/2nd class, but they were the sons of some of my closest friends. By 2nd/3rd grade, there were 10 boys and 4 girls. I’d watch the class file out down the hall for a break or playtime, and just pause with wonder as those 10 boys would walk past — good friends! (I should note the girls were — and still are — his good friends, too, 3 of them being the daughters of close friends in my prayer group; but what struck me was how God had so lovingly answered that request for boys in his class — He just went exceedingly, abundantly beyond what I asked or imagined!)
  • There were challenging days, hard days, days you want to give up. Each time I’d question, the Lord would immediately confirm His plan and give me the strength to press on. I asked myself one day in my prayer time, “Well, what do you want?… do you just want an easy life, no working, just drop off the kids, go work out, eat with friends, or such things as seemed more desirable?!” I answered “No!” I went to my Bible study that very night, and it was the first video in the series, and Beth Moore spoke to this very thing. She turned to the camera and said, “Easy lives don’t make great stories! Your life was meant to be a great story!”
  • The 4 couples who were first involved with the school met weekly to pray each Saturday morning from January to August 2006 before school began. We saw God do mighty things! Some of them deserve their own post sometime. We have an awesome, mighty God!

There is more, so much more. I could write and write and write. But I’ll just say this was the clearest calling I had ever known, confirmed at every step, so to turn back was never an option! It’s been an adventure, a means of our sanctification, a struggle at times, wrestling through things, but a joy as well, seeing God work and move and use this little school for His glory. One of my favorite verses in this journey has been:

“Not to us, not to us, but to Your Name be the glory!” Psalm 115:1

He has done this. We have not. We want to be His willing servants, but He has shown His power and might and done this. Praise You, Lord, and thank you for your willingness to reveal Yourself so clearly when we seek you through Your Word and prayer!

Brush With Fame

Brush With Fame

Carolyn

In April 2006, I went with five friends to an event in Indianapolis called Downpour. James McDonald, Joe Stowell, Beth Moore, and Crawford Loritts were the speakers, and Harvest Bible Chapel was putting it together. We were drawn to it mostly because of Beth Moore, someone whom we all love and whom God had used in our lives through her Bible studies. My friends and I were hoping to meet her.

Right before the event was to begin, four of us went out to the restrooms. While outside the main arena, my friends saw Beth Moore walk past on her way inside, and they wanted me to go over and say hi. (As it happens, Beth’s daughter is a dear friend of ours and was at that time living in our little town.) I anticipated that Beth was trying to get in for the conference to begin, so I was reluctant to say anything, but my friends were literally pushing me toward her to say hello. She was surrounded by what looked like body guards and her assistant, and I just could not interrupt her path into the arena — until, all of a sudden, she turned her head around as she was walking and looked right at me.

I said, “Oh, hi, I’m Melissa’s friend, ….” Well, she was as sweet as she could be, rushed over to hug me, said some warm things, and so on. Honestly, I thought I was at the point in my life where very few people would leave me starstruck, but you suddenly have this awareness that this is the godly woman who has meant so much to your spiritual life, and all I could say, over and over, was “You’re so tiny.”

Not “Thank you so much for your ministry” or “You have no idea what you’ve meant to me” — No, just “you’re so tiny.”

Then I became a little more gathered and said, “Well, I’m just here with some friends…,” not wanting to forget my friends, and I looked over at the three of them, and they were standing there starstruck as though they were deer stuck in the headlights, smiling, unable to move. One of the most hilarious scenes I could imagine, the four of us there, acting like total idiots!

When we returned to our seats, there were our two other friends who had not gone out with us to the restrooms. They were so disappointed they had not seen Beth, while the four of us were beside ourselves with happiness!

At some point during the conference, we got to move down to the front seats due to some connections that one of my friends had with the folks at Harvest. We were sitting right around the speakers. During a break, we visited with Joe Stowell and his sweet wife, as they are longtime friends.

One of my two friends who had not had the chance to meet Beth Moore, but who really wanted to meet her, probably more than any of us, is in this picture talking to Joe Stowell, while Beth Moore is literally at her back.

This went on for many minutes while the five of us sat there in our seats in hysterics, waiting for them to back into each other, to turn around and meet each other, to make some sort of connection. I grabbed my camera so we could document for her later how close she had been to meeting Beth Moore! In fact, I blew up the picture and framed it for her for her birthday that May.

Maybe you have to love Beth as much as we do for this to seem even humorous, but it was really funny. The Downpour conference was great, too, and we were blessed to be there.