Category: Stones of Remembrance

It’s Officially Summer!

Carolyn
2008 Field Day — Casted Arm

School ended today with what has become a tradition — field day followed by lots of food in the classrooms before noon dismissal, then the conclusion of parent teacher conferences. It’s a great conclusion to the year!

For those of us who work at the school, it’s a sentimental day, as well, as we realize some of us will now be parting ways, perhaps never to see one another again. It’s a day full of reflection on the past year and emotion in seeing what God has done in our children, in our school, the beauty of what He has brought together, and the hope that He will continue it despite change, which is unavoidable and even necessary.

Today reminded me of God’s faithfulness as I looked back to one year ago at this time. We finished field day, and I took my son to the orthopedist for a follow up visit to see how his wrist was healing. It had been broken 2 weeks before, but was not displaced and looked to be a simple matter. However, we learned at this visit that his wrist had become displaced in the cast and he would need surgery the next morning to try to correct it as soon as possible. The hope was he wouldn’t need an incision or pins, but those were feasible options.

Two days prior, at our teachers’ chapel where we shared Scripture and exhortations with the students, I had shared a special verse to me: Jeremiah 32:17: “Ah, Lord God, you have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched hand and there is nothing too hard for You.” That was the first verse I had learned in Kindergarten, and God had used it in my life as I had prayed for this school.

I shared with the children the power of God… that we sat where we were, had the teachers we did, had been blessed with this school because God was and is powerful. I encouraged them to trust Him and not put “God in a box” but instead believe that He can do great things.

So as I sat at the orthopedist’s office hearing his words “we need to do surgery, right away, tomorrow, ….. pins, incisions,” I could also hear in my head the words I had spoken in chapel, “God is powerful, trust Him…” I knew this was a chance for my son’s faith to grow, that God had allowed this for good.

My son was naturally nervous about the surgery. My husband had left town that morning on a 6 hour trip, and had turned right around to come back home. We went to dinner while we waited on his return. A song played on the way: “Your grace is enough, Heaven reaching down to us, Your grace is enough for me; God, I see your grace is enough, I’m covered in your love, Your grace is enough for me; remember Your people; remember Your children; remember Your promise, O God. Your grace is enough. Your grace is enough. Your grace is enough for me.”

It was just a good song to remind my son that God loved him and is gracious. I told him to lay out his arm before God and ask Him to heal it. The sunroof was open and the sun was pouring in down on his casted arm as he held out his arm to God and gave it to Him. It did seem like “heaven was reaching down to us.” I loved seeing my son’s faith that He was willing to lay it before God. Before bed, my son told me he wanted to read Job “because it was about a man who suffered.” It was sweet to see him seek the Lord.

The surgery the next day went fine, and we were thankful to find the surgeon could shove the bones really hard back into place and did not need pins and incisions. However, he ended up with a much larger cast and sling for the next few weeks and we canceled summer camps and plans. But we saw in the midst of it again God’s goodness and grace.

Opportunities to trust Him. Steps in our journey. Stops along the way where we see God actively in our lives so that we can look back and remember what great things He has done and move forward with confident expectation that the God who has done great things can and does act on behalf of His people.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.” Jeremiah 17:7

Entrusting My Life to God

Carolyn

There is a mom in our school who is fighting cancer. Her faith has been amazing, despite the fact that she is walking in such deep waters. I have been astounded by the peace she has and the unwavering confidence in the Lord for whatever He has for her life. I commented to her husband several times a couple of weeks back that she has an amazing faith. Each time, her husband would say, “She is just an ordinary woman with an extraordinary God.” He said when God’s Spirit fills someone, they become this way, what they would otherwise not be. Those thoughts kept going through my mind: ordinary woman, extraordinary God.

At the same time, a friend called me for lunch. She had been wanting to read a book together. During lunch, she pulled out a few options that she liked. She placed one on the table in front of me entitled “The Uncommon Woman: Making an Ordinary Life Extraordinary” by Susie Larson. I knew the moment I read those two words in the title “Ordinary” and “Extraordinary” that this was the book we should read.

Have you ever felt like a book was written just for you? I admit, upon first glance when I looked at the book, I wondered if it would have much depth and whether it would be written in a simplistic sort of way, covering things I’ve heard over and over. (There goes my arrogant tendency again to think I’ve heard it all!) But it has been just the opposite, a word fitly spoken for the current condition of my soul. I’ve been astounded each day how God has used the book to meet me right where I am!

An example: Do you ever operate in life in need of man’s approval? Feeling like you’re valued because of what you do, not because of who you are, as made in God’s image? Of course, our value is already settled in Christ, but even giving mental assent to some truth doesn’t necessarily mean it flows into the recesses of our hearts and into pure belief, resulting in appropriate obedience and actions.

As I prayed through some of this the other day, I went to John 2 where I had been reading in my daily time with the Lord. It talks about how people were believing in Jesus, but He would not entrust Himself to man because He knew what was in their hearts. It occurred to me that Jesus, whether he was wildly affirmed, applauded and accepted OR rejected, scorned and killed, never entrusted Himself to man. He simply came to do the mission for which He was called — to do His Father’s will and to glorify Him.

It brought to mind that verse from I Peter 4:19 about how we should “entrust ourselves to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.” It began to dawn on me that this life is about entrusting myself to my Creator to do what is right, not on man or man’s opinions of me. Whether I am rejected or accepted (or in most cases, just neutrally viewed by others, because truly, people aren’t thinking about me anyway!), it should make no difference. I should carry on with my life’s mission to know God, to bring Him glory, and to entrust myself to Him.

Interestingly, the same day I was reading this passage in John 2 and praying through this, I visited the school where I spent my years from Kindergarten to 12th grade. The lady I met with was stressing how they keep their mission ever before them, visible in every room, so they don’t forget what they are all about. Like Jesus with His mission on earth. Again, a reminder that He came to do His Father’s will, to fulfill His mission. My life should follow that example.

That evening (and I realize I’m jumping around a lot, so this timeline may not be clear, but this is all in one day — the reading in John, the realization to “entrust,” the visit to the school), I was blessed to be able to go to the Chris Tomlin concert. I had not realized until the day before that he was be in town (Memphis), and I had prayed that morning about how I could go, but I really didn’t know anyone at that late time to ask to accompany me. I had almost forgotten about it when my friend called and said her son was sick — did I want to go to the concert with them… YES!

I didn’t know what to expect and wasn’t expecting much, but can I just say “amazing”? Is it theologically correct to say someone is “anointed”? Because if it is, Chris Tomlin is. Unbelievable stories He told of God at work. Unbelievable worship songs. Songs that, one after another, caused me to remember God’s work in our lives until the tears wouldn’t stop. All I could think, when the awareness of the reality and presence of God is so strong, is how can I offer so little to the One who has given me so much?

I’ll spare trying to describe my every thought and emotion of the night, but it was one of those rare times in life where God is so close and real, so near. Interestingly, before I went to Memphis, I had been bummed by besetting sins that keep me bound, and I was unsettled. I was reminded of “draw near to God and He will draw near to You.” I took that promise and did that and emptied my heart to God, and I felt like this night was Him drawing right back and giving me the freedom I so want to have. Chris Tomlin said, “How can you raise your hands to God if your are carrying such heavy burdens?” He came to set us free, and truly, I felt like the chains were falling off!

So to get where I was going originally with this post — I went home after the concert so full of God’s amazing love. Before bed, I decided to go ahead and read a little in this “Uncommon Woman” book, still doubting it would have any effect on me. I could not believe it when I read it: “The uncommon woman understands her capacity for pettiness, selfishness, and a sinful bent that leads her away from the Almighty. But her thoughts don’t dwell there. No, despite what she knows about herself, she entrusts herself fully to the One who will shape her into a thing of magnificence…. Accepting acceptance means refusing to let others define you, because God already has….. Jesus deeply understood His identity with His Father…. He came to fulfill His mission.”

I had also been praying through daily and memorizing Psalm 86:11-13 about “Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in Your truth. Give me an undivided heart that I may fear Your name.” The prayer in the book was even about “I will learn to walk in this truth.”

I was astounded again by the ways of God… that He is able to meet each of us so perfectly.

Now I am back from spring break, back in the nitty gritty of each day, and want to live in what the Lord has revealed to me, to entrust myself to Him each day. Maybe as I seek to obey Him and respond to this truth, this will become easier. Today, I truly felt free, and I praise Him for that, for speaking to me in these ways.

Be Dressed in Readiness

Carolyn

A couple of blogs back, I wrote about being caught in a Texas hailstorm back in 1995. I shared about how a song on the radio was comforting to me in that moment as the car was being crushed and I was afraid. I felt like the Lord was speaking to me in my moment of fear and panic through the song: “God is in control…. there is no power above or beside Him, we know….”

I always felt like God so clearly spoke to me that day in a way that I had never experienced before. (By the way, for those who read my blog and know how God uses music in my life, this was the first time — and the only time for many years — I had ever felt like God spoke to me in a song!) But there was also a part of me deep down that questioned that — was it just a “coincidence”? Does God really speak that way? Somehow in my growing up years, either I had missed it or it wasn’t talked about that God does speak to us. I tended to be very skeptical of anything like this. So I don’t think I shared it with anyone — but somewhere deep inside me, I knew it was the Lord that day comforting me through that song.

Fast forward to the summer of 2004. I was doing my first Beth Moore Bible study with some friends. It was called Jesus, the One and Only, and was a study on the book of Luke. To my surprise, I had been thoroughly enjoying this study and loving Beth Moore! I had heard about her for quite some time and been reluctant to do a Bible study that everyone else was doing — what is that rebellion in me all about?! I had all kinds of pre-conceived, yet so misguided, notions!

Anyway, each day had been showing me something new — isn’t that amazing about God’s Word — it does that. And He has given Beth Moore a gift of insights that seem to apply to anyone at any time, no matter the situation.

So it was late one evening and I was not in the mood to do my Bible study. This was a time in my life when I was still addicted to TV in the evening after I got my kids down. I would watch one show to the next, frittering my life away, not doing anything meaningful. I reasoned that I really didn’t need to do my Bible study that day… I had already learned so much the 2 prior days, how could there be anything else God had to show me?! Yes, I know, the arrogance I had is staggering!

So I started into another typical evening, Law & Order, followed by the news and on into Oprah was the plan… just mind-numbing activity. Well, when the news came on, my family was all in bed asleep already, and suddenly, a violent storm came up out of nowhere. The lights flashed and the TV blinked and the storm came. Given my fear of storms that still lingered now, I jumped up and debated, “Do I wake up the kids and bring them into the hallway for safety?” I rushed to wake up my husband who kept on sleeping after urging me that everyone was fine.

I then quickly decided I must be prepared, so I ran and put on my pajamas, lit a bunch of candles in case we lost power, and got everything ready for the worst. I then decided maybe it wasn’t such a bad time to do Bible study. I sat down at the kitchen table with my Bible, study book, candles lit all around, and me in my pajamas, ready for anything!

I could not believe it when I opened the study to that day’s lesson. It was titled “Keep Your Lamps Burning.” The verse was taken from Luke 12:35-36: “Be dressed in readiness, and keep your lamps lit. Be like men who are waiting for their master when he returns from the wedding feast, so that they may immediately open the door to him when he comes and knocks.”

Do you see the picture? Be dressed in readiness with your candles burning basically. And there I sat, now dressed in readiness with my candles lit, a literal example of what my spiritual life should look like.

God showed me He can and does have other things to show me in His Word. It made me wonder whether watching TV each night was the best way for me to be spiritually prepared and ready for His return. I am to be a faithful servant, awaiting my Master’s return.

Well, needless to say, this was the second time in my life where I felt like God had just used some circumstances to speak to me. It’s interesting that both times were in the midst of real life thunderstorms. But He does that, doesn’t He? He enters into the “storms” of our lives to show us Himself and give us hope, to teach us and use those hardships to help us know Him.

I praise Him for that, that He is a personal God, so ready to speak, willing to use any of life’s circumstances to reveal Himself to us. I didn’t even ask Him to in these instances, but He graciously opened my eyes to Himself. I praise Him for that. I don’t think I’d ever asked Him before that time to reveal things to me, but I’ve found He does when I ask. I praise Him for that, too.

Praise You, Lord, for using the storms of life to reveal Yourself to us. I want to be Your servant, dressed in readiness, with my candles burning, expectant, responsive, alert, faithful, sensible, obedient, serving you as I await Your return. Not for me, but for You. Help me to go forward in Your strength and by Your power, to hear Your voice and see with Your eyes, and to obey You as I live in these days and wait for the certain hope of Your return. Praise You, Lord!

Powerful God

Carolyn

April 19, 1995. I remember the date clearly because it was the same day as the Oklahoma City bombing. I was working as a legal assistant in Dallas for a small law firm. They asked me to drive to Tyler, Texas, to pick up the record on appeal for a case on which we were working.

There was supposed to be bad weather, so one attorney suggested I not go. The others didn’t think it would be bad, so I went ahead. As I entered the highway, my car slid out of control because of the wet ground. Thankfully, I didn’t hit anything, but it made me a little nervous about the travel ahead. The radio was, of course, on, and a song by Twila Paris was playing, “God is in Control.” “God is in control, we believe that His people will not be forsaken, God is in control, we will choose to remember and never be shaken, there is no power above or beside Him, we know, God is in control.”

The song gave me comfort, and I chose to believe that He was in control of my travel that day. I went on, and as I did, it turned into the most beautiful and sunny day! Well, this wasn’t bad at all, I thought. But as I drove, after I would pass a town, a short time later, the radio announcer would say, “The tornado is now in X.” And X was whatever town I had just passed. But I wasn’t worried because it was so sunny and pretty now. Surely those towns were pretty big, and so the likelihood I would encounter anything on the way back seemed remote to me, I reasoned.

I ran into the Court of Appeals and got the record. As I started to head back to Dallas, I thought again about the storm, but went ahead. As I drove, it didn’t really occur to me that there were no other cars on the road; the highway was empty. But they obviously had heeded the warnings. I have never before encountered what I did that day. It literally went from blue and sunny to black, heavy rain, hail, and a total inability to see—literally in an instant. There was no transition from light to heavy rain—it just went from light to dark, and I had zero visibility for the darkness, the torrential rain, and the softball size hail hitting the car!

I didn’t know what to do. The last thing I had seen was that there was an exit ramp just shortly ahead, but I couldn’t even see to drive. I inched along. Suddenly all the glass started breaking on the car, the back window blew in, I was covered in glass, rain and hail, and the car was flooding. I did the only thing I knew to do. I was screaming to God to help me. All I know is that my panic turned to peace as soon as I heard a song coming in from the radio. Yes, once again, Twila Paris, “God is in Control.” “God is in control, we believe that His people will not be forsaken. God is in control. We will choose to remember and never be shaken. There is no power above or beside Him, we know. God is in control.”

I clung to those words. There is no power above Him. He was right there with me. I remember the rain moving on enough that I could see to exit, and oddly, I still remember driving my car in a complete circle, so shaken, so unsure where to turn, which direction, that I literally held the wheel and kept going around in a circle. I finally saw a driveway and entered. It was a local country club. I went inside, and they were shocked that I had been caught out in that storm. They all testified, “We’ve never seen anything like it. We can’t believe you were caught in it!”

They then said, “You need to get under the pool table with the others because it’s not over. The tornado hasn’t passed yet.” I decided not to do so as I couldn’t expect anymore could possibly happen. The men, who earlier had been out golfing, stood by the back windows and watched the tornado pass.

A nice lady followed me back to Dallas in my demolished car. It took several years for me not to shake all over when a storm would come up. I remember getting back to Dallas and hearing about the Oklahoma City bombing that day. I trust God was near to those and revealing Himself to them in their time of need, accomplishing His purposes in the midst of great tragedy.

I was reminded of my “hailstorm” story tonight because we’ve had a hard night. And I needed to remember God’s power. This story came to mind, and I shared it with my children. In our deepest need, He is enough. The truth of who God is and His gospel message goes deeper than we can begin to imagine, said our new pastor this past Sunday on his first Sunday. “An atheist is in all of us,” he surmised. We don’t believe all that God is and can do.

This is the God who gave comfort to Corrie Ten Boom in her years in a Nazi concentration camp, who spoke closely to her, spared her life, and used her to tell His gospel message to the world. I’m so enjoying her book Tramp for the Lord right now. He was with her in the midst of great suffering. He is real and He is truly all we need. I pray we’ll know Him and His power, His mighty power to save, His mighty power to deliver at the very deepest core of our being.

Ephesians 3:20-21: “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”

Leaving a Legacy

Carolyn

This morning I was showing the children my Bible with my name engraved on it from when I was 7 years old. My grandfather gave it to me at Christmas 1976. I showed them the three verses he wrote in the front of the Bible that he wanted me to know: Proverbs 22:1, Jeremiah 33:3, and II Timothy 2:15. That Bible was and still is an absolute treasure to me, and I’ve carried those verses in my heart throughout my lifetime.

What we didn’t know when my grandfather gave me the Bible was that he would be dead only 3 months later, found dead in his home after having a cardiac arrest at age 64.

My grandfather was one of the most kind, gentle, tenderhearted men I have ever known. I remember him vividly and so many experiences with him. I remember the jokes we would tell, the food we would eat (hominy and peanut butter/bacon sandwiches were among our favorites), his garage full of children’s classic books (he was a distributor), his yard and the sandbox, his car, his neck with the creases in the back, his candy box, the dolls he gave me, him letting me fry bacon by myself, and him treating the bubbling blister from the boiling grease that slapped my hand!

Since my own father had died in a car wreck when I was a baby, my grandfather was such a gift from the Lord to stand in the gap. Rarely in life do you have someone who you can know loved you with complete and unconditional love. He was the sweetest man… I don’t have one single memory of him every being mad or unhappy. He never yelled at us. He was compassionate and loving to his core. He loved God, and he loved people, and people loved him.

I’m thankful the Lord gave me 7 years with him, and I’m thankful he gave me that Bible when he did before it was too late. I’m thankful for letters I have from him so I can know what he thought and prayed for me. As I see those prayers come to fruition, I see the power of prayer, even though it may not be realized for many years.

I was married on his birth date, and my son is named after him. I would think that he has likely had the biggest impact on my life as he was present during such critical young years, providing acceptance and love, a picture to me of God’s unconditional love.

Surely he had his weaknesses, but they were unknown to me. In my eyes, he was perfect, and I have not even one single memory to conclude otherwise.

So I praise the Lord for this godly man and his legacy. I know that things that have happened in my life may be the very result of his prayers for me during those early years. What a blessing and encouragement to pray for these things in the lives of my children as well.