Category: Stones of Remembrance

Be Dressed in Readiness

Carolyn

A couple of blogs back, I wrote about being caught in a Texas hailstorm back in 1995. I shared about how a song on the radio was comforting to me in that moment as the car was being crushed and I was afraid. I felt like the Lord was speaking to me in my moment of fear and panic through the song: “God is in control…. there is no power above or beside Him, we know….”

I always felt like God so clearly spoke to me that day in a way that I had never experienced before. (By the way, for those who read my blog and know how God uses music in my life, this was the first time — and the only time for many years — I had ever felt like God spoke to me in a song!) But there was also a part of me deep down that questioned that — was it just a “coincidence”? Does God really speak that way? Somehow in my growing up years, either I had missed it or it wasn’t talked about that God does speak to us. I tended to be very skeptical of anything like this. So I don’t think I shared it with anyone — but somewhere deep inside me, I knew it was the Lord that day comforting me through that song.

Fast forward to the summer of 2004. I was doing my first Beth Moore Bible study with some friends. It was called Jesus, the One and Only, and was a study on the book of Luke. To my surprise, I had been thoroughly enjoying this study and loving Beth Moore! I had heard about her for quite some time and been reluctant to do a Bible study that everyone else was doing — what is that rebellion in me all about?! I had all kinds of pre-conceived, yet so misguided, notions!

Anyway, each day had been showing me something new — isn’t that amazing about God’s Word — it does that. And He has given Beth Moore a gift of insights that seem to apply to anyone at any time, no matter the situation.

So it was late one evening and I was not in the mood to do my Bible study. This was a time in my life when I was still addicted to TV in the evening after I got my kids down. I would watch one show to the next, frittering my life away, not doing anything meaningful. I reasoned that I really didn’t need to do my Bible study that day… I had already learned so much the 2 prior days, how could there be anything else God had to show me?! Yes, I know, the arrogance I had is staggering!

So I started into another typical evening, Law & Order, followed by the news and on into Oprah was the plan… just mind-numbing activity. Well, when the news came on, my family was all in bed asleep already, and suddenly, a violent storm came up out of nowhere. The lights flashed and the TV blinked and the storm came. Given my fear of storms that still lingered now, I jumped up and debated, “Do I wake up the kids and bring them into the hallway for safety?” I rushed to wake up my husband who kept on sleeping after urging me that everyone was fine.

I then quickly decided I must be prepared, so I ran and put on my pajamas, lit a bunch of candles in case we lost power, and got everything ready for the worst. I then decided maybe it wasn’t such a bad time to do Bible study. I sat down at the kitchen table with my Bible, study book, candles lit all around, and me in my pajamas, ready for anything!

I could not believe it when I opened the study to that day’s lesson. It was titled “Keep Your Lamps Burning.” The verse was taken from Luke 12:35-36: “Be dressed in readiness, and keep your lamps lit. Be like men who are waiting for their master when he returns from the wedding feast, so that they may immediately open the door to him when he comes and knocks.”

Do you see the picture? Be dressed in readiness with your candles burning basically. And there I sat, now dressed in readiness with my candles lit, a literal example of what my spiritual life should look like.

God showed me He can and does have other things to show me in His Word. It made me wonder whether watching TV each night was the best way for me to be spiritually prepared and ready for His return. I am to be a faithful servant, awaiting my Master’s return.

Well, needless to say, this was the second time in my life where I felt like God had just used some circumstances to speak to me. It’s interesting that both times were in the midst of real life thunderstorms. But He does that, doesn’t He? He enters into the “storms” of our lives to show us Himself and give us hope, to teach us and use those hardships to help us know Him.

I praise Him for that, that He is a personal God, so ready to speak, willing to use any of life’s circumstances to reveal Himself to us. I didn’t even ask Him to in these instances, but He graciously opened my eyes to Himself. I praise Him for that. I don’t think I’d ever asked Him before that time to reveal things to me, but I’ve found He does when I ask. I praise Him for that, too.

Praise You, Lord, for using the storms of life to reveal Yourself to us. I want to be Your servant, dressed in readiness, with my candles burning, expectant, responsive, alert, faithful, sensible, obedient, serving you as I await Your return. Not for me, but for You. Help me to go forward in Your strength and by Your power, to hear Your voice and see with Your eyes, and to obey You as I live in these days and wait for the certain hope of Your return. Praise You, Lord!

Powerful God

Carolyn

April 19, 1995. I remember the date clearly because it was the same day as the Oklahoma City bombing. I was working as a legal assistant in Dallas for a small law firm. They asked me to drive to Tyler, Texas, to pick up the record on appeal for a case on which we were working.

There was supposed to be bad weather, so one attorney suggested I not go. The others didn’t think it would be bad, so I went ahead. As I entered the highway, my car slid out of control because of the wet ground. Thankfully, I didn’t hit anything, but it made me a little nervous about the travel ahead. The radio was, of course, on, and a song by Twila Paris was playing, “God is in Control.” “God is in control, we believe that His people will not be forsaken, God is in control, we will choose to remember and never be shaken, there is no power above or beside Him, we know, God is in control.”

The song gave me comfort, and I chose to believe that He was in control of my travel that day. I went on, and as I did, it turned into the most beautiful and sunny day! Well, this wasn’t bad at all, I thought. But as I drove, after I would pass a town, a short time later, the radio announcer would say, “The tornado is now in X.” And X was whatever town I had just passed. But I wasn’t worried because it was so sunny and pretty now. Surely those towns were pretty big, and so the likelihood I would encounter anything on the way back seemed remote to me, I reasoned.

I ran into the Court of Appeals and got the record. As I started to head back to Dallas, I thought again about the storm, but went ahead. As I drove, it didn’t really occur to me that there were no other cars on the road; the highway was empty. But they obviously had heeded the warnings. I have never before encountered what I did that day. It literally went from blue and sunny to black, heavy rain, hail, and a total inability to see—literally in an instant. There was no transition from light to heavy rain—it just went from light to dark, and I had zero visibility for the darkness, the torrential rain, and the softball size hail hitting the car!

I didn’t know what to do. The last thing I had seen was that there was an exit ramp just shortly ahead, but I couldn’t even see to drive. I inched along. Suddenly all the glass started breaking on the car, the back window blew in, I was covered in glass, rain and hail, and the car was flooding. I did the only thing I knew to do. I was screaming to God to help me. All I know is that my panic turned to peace as soon as I heard a song coming in from the radio. Yes, once again, Twila Paris, “God is in Control.” “God is in control, we believe that His people will not be forsaken. God is in control. We will choose to remember and never be shaken. There is no power above or beside Him, we know. God is in control.”

I clung to those words. There is no power above Him. He was right there with me. I remember the rain moving on enough that I could see to exit, and oddly, I still remember driving my car in a complete circle, so shaken, so unsure where to turn, which direction, that I literally held the wheel and kept going around in a circle. I finally saw a driveway and entered. It was a local country club. I went inside, and they were shocked that I had been caught out in that storm. They all testified, “We’ve never seen anything like it. We can’t believe you were caught in it!”

They then said, “You need to get under the pool table with the others because it’s not over. The tornado hasn’t passed yet.” I decided not to do so as I couldn’t expect anymore could possibly happen. The men, who earlier had been out golfing, stood by the back windows and watched the tornado pass.

A nice lady followed me back to Dallas in my demolished car. It took several years for me not to shake all over when a storm would come up. I remember getting back to Dallas and hearing about the Oklahoma City bombing that day. I trust God was near to those and revealing Himself to them in their time of need, accomplishing His purposes in the midst of great tragedy.

I was reminded of my “hailstorm” story tonight because we’ve had a hard night. And I needed to remember God’s power. This story came to mind, and I shared it with my children. In our deepest need, He is enough. The truth of who God is and His gospel message goes deeper than we can begin to imagine, said our new pastor this past Sunday on his first Sunday. “An atheist is in all of us,” he surmised. We don’t believe all that God is and can do.

This is the God who gave comfort to Corrie Ten Boom in her years in a Nazi concentration camp, who spoke closely to her, spared her life, and used her to tell His gospel message to the world. I’m so enjoying her book Tramp for the Lord right now. He was with her in the midst of great suffering. He is real and He is truly all we need. I pray we’ll know Him and His power, His mighty power to save, His mighty power to deliver at the very deepest core of our being.

Ephesians 3:20-21: “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”

Leaving a Legacy

Carolyn

This morning I was showing the children my Bible with my name engraved on it from when I was 7 years old. My grandfather gave it to me at Christmas 1976. I showed them the three verses he wrote in the front of the Bible that he wanted me to know: Proverbs 22:1, Jeremiah 33:3, and II Timothy 2:15. That Bible was and still is an absolute treasure to me, and I’ve carried those verses in my heart throughout my lifetime.

What we didn’t know when my grandfather gave me the Bible was that he would be dead only 3 months later, found dead in his home after having a cardiac arrest at age 64.

My grandfather was one of the most kind, gentle, tenderhearted men I have ever known. I remember him vividly and so many experiences with him. I remember the jokes we would tell, the food we would eat (hominy and peanut butter/bacon sandwiches were among our favorites), his garage full of children’s classic books (he was a distributor), his yard and the sandbox, his car, his neck with the creases in the back, his candy box, the dolls he gave me, him letting me fry bacon by myself, and him treating the bubbling blister from the boiling grease that slapped my hand!

Since my own father had died in a car wreck when I was a baby, my grandfather was such a gift from the Lord to stand in the gap. Rarely in life do you have someone who you can know loved you with complete and unconditional love. He was the sweetest man… I don’t have one single memory of him every being mad or unhappy. He never yelled at us. He was compassionate and loving to his core. He loved God, and he loved people, and people loved him.

I’m thankful the Lord gave me 7 years with him, and I’m thankful he gave me that Bible when he did before it was too late. I’m thankful for letters I have from him so I can know what he thought and prayed for me. As I see those prayers come to fruition, I see the power of prayer, even though it may not be realized for many years.

I was married on his birth date, and my son is named after him. I would think that he has likely had the biggest impact on my life as he was present during such critical young years, providing acceptance and love, a picture to me of God’s unconditional love.

Surely he had his weaknesses, but they were unknown to me. In my eyes, he was perfect, and I have not even one single memory to conclude otherwise.

So I praise the Lord for this godly man and his legacy. I know that things that have happened in my life may be the very result of his prayers for me during those early years. What a blessing and encouragement to pray for these things in the lives of my children as well.

Happy Anniversary!

Carolyn

My mom and step-dad celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary last week. As I was driving home today, I thought it worth a blog post to wish them a Happy Anniversary! Why is 25 years so significant? When they married in 1983, my mom was the age I am right now, and my step-dad was 64. Given that most everyone I had known and loved had died prior to getting to age 64 (I have more memories of funerals as a child than birthday parties!), I have to admit I did not have high expectations of a long marriage.

My step-dad was hospitalized a couple of years after they were married. He had one problem, and while that was going on, his appendix ruptured, and during that surgery, they discovered the early stages of colon cancer. I was convinced he was going to die. I remember sitting in the hospital room for hours during his recovery. I would beg God to let him live and let them have a good long marriage. It just didn’t seem right for my mom to be widowed twice.

As I reflected on this today, I see how kind God has been to them. Nearing 90, my step-dad is in great health, has a great mind, and is still strong and active. He has survived two bouts of colon cancer and a broken neck that put him in a neck halo for 8 weeks a few years ago after a car wreck. No one expected him to come through that the same, but why should we limit God?

During his second colon cancer a few years ago, my mom and I committed to pray nightly at 9 p.m. from our separate homes each night leading up to the surgery, instead of choosing to worry. We gave it to the Lord each night, and I was amazed at the things God showed us each day during that time. When the surgery day came, my mom said she had a peace unlike she had ever known, which was quite extraordinary given her propensity to fear things like that.

After surgery, I had to go back to my home 550 miles away while they were still staying at the hospital. One morning, I was with the kids going to Target. As we drove out there, a song by Steven Curtis Chapman was on called “This Day.” “This day, all your mercies are new, this day every promise is true, Father help me to believe, give me faith I need to know You, and trust You, this day.”

After it was over, I told my kids that this was taken from Lamentations 3:23, and I prayed it for my mom and step-dad. When I got home, I called mom and she shared how they had had a terrible morning, felt oppressed in the room, and it had been very upsetting. She said, “we quoted Scripture, and the one that meant so much to us was from Lamentations 3:23.” I know this was not an accident!

I was amazed at how God constantly wove our thoughts and prayers and minds as we were deliberate in seeking Him together for this, how He gave us the same prayers and verses and reassurances. And my step-dad survived and has done well since!

So as I considered some of these things today, I thought God has been really good to them, to us! And 25 years is a big milestone and something to celebrate! We don’t know how long their marriage will be, but the years they have been given together have been good and sweet! Praise You, Lord!

Our Great Shepherd and Savior

Carolyn

When we decorated the tree this year, I saw this little ornament and it reminded me of a great, true Christmas story from 2005!

A little background… I have a dear friend whose husband walked closely with the Lord and was used by God in the lives of so many people through his passionate zeal for God. Somewhere around 1998, he decided he wasn’t so sure anymore and he decided to set his faith aside and wanted no more to do with it. My friend kept looking to the Lord and praying and waiting and hoping that God would bring her husband back to Himself.Fast forward then to 2005. By this time, it seems highly unlikely he will ever return to the Lord, from a human perspective. He’s a great guy, super nice, leading a good life, why does he need anything more? Our prayers continue. In the times of discouragement, the Lord continued to sustain and encourage my friend, and there were times where you just cling to the words of truth and hope found in Scripture and continue to believe God is able.

In April 2005, right after I had surrendered my life to the Lord more deeply, I was praying each day and asking the Lord what He would want me to do each day… someone to reach out to, something He wanted me to do. One day, I couldn’t get my friend’s husband off my mind. I felt like there was a book I should share with him and that I should encourage him that the Lord loved him and was seeking him still. But how? It seemed the right way was to call. He’d surely never read a letter.

I was nervous to call. I wanted a sign. I told the Lord that it would be great if a certain song would play on the radio, then I could know. It was a song that echoed the message of the book, but they weren’t playing it as much anymore on the radio. As I stood confessing to the Lord that I shouldn’t have to have a sign, I finished praying, and what song should start… yes, Much of You by Steven Curtis Chapman, the one I wanted to hear. As the song ended, the radio announcer came on, and they were having a pledge drive, and the voice said, “Make the call. Make the call.” How funny. They were referring to the call the radio station and pledge, but I took it to mean, “ok, here’s the song, I’ll make the call.”

I dialed their number, got the machine, nearly hung up, but held on and waited for the beep and started talking. I don’t even remember what I said, but I think it was mostly telling him that I knew God loved him and wanted him to return, that He was seeking him, and that there was a book I thought he would like. I mailed him the book, and that was the end of the story. No great turnaround, that was it.

So fast forward to Christmastime 2005. It’s been 8 months. I’ve never spoken to him since that message. It’s about December 23, and I called my friend at home. I was totally unprepared for when her husband answered the phone. It’s that brief moment of confusion when you hear a different voice and think “who did I call,” and then I realized who it was and thought “now what!?” She wasn’t home, but he was working from home. I was nervous that I was interrupting his work, so I hesitated to keep him on the phone, but I felt I should address the call in April. I did. I can’t remember the exact conversation, but he was nice, said it just didn’t work for him, that’s fine for me and he understood my calling if that’s what I believe. He is a really smart guy, and I just remember feeling like such a fool after he explained his way of thinking. I didn’t even reply much because I knew he was working and so that was it.

I hung up the phone and sobbed. Shamefully, part of my tears were out of embarrassment, but most of them were over the fact of how hard his heart seemed, and was there ANY hope that God would change this heart. I went to my bedroom and grabbed my prayer book (Face to Face) which I had not read that day. As soon as I opened it, the first verse was, “I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of salvation to all who believe.” I lay on my bedroom floor and cried and prayed for him.

I later heard something break. We had had our Christmas tree up for 2-3 weeks now, and my children knew not to touch and had not touched the ornaments! In fact, the tree had fallen on my daughter after she pulled it a year or two before, so she had proper respect for the tree and always kept her distance. But for some reason, she uncustomarily had touched a gold ball, and there it was broken on the floor.

As I was cleaning it up, I was on my hands and knees under the tree, and I looked up and my eyes caught this ornament right in front of me, hidden back in the tree, but now in my face. It’s just a little cross stitched ornament that I had never thought much of that someone made me years before. It says, “Joyful Spirit Jer. 33:11” — that’s the meaning of my name. As I looked at it, it puzzled me why someone would choose a verse from Jeremiah for “joyful spirit.” Aren’t there lots of psalms about joy?

Anyway, I went to my Bible to look up the verse. It said: “the voice of joy and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the voice of those who will say, ‘Praise the LORD of hosts, For the LORD is good, For His mercy endures forever’ — and of those who will bring the sacrifice of praise into the house of the LORD. For I will cause the captives of the land to return as at the first, says the LORD.”

When I read this, I knew it was about my friend’s husband! I almost felt it was the Lord saying not to fear, that He would cause this captive to return as at the first! I was later able to share with my friend the events of the day, finding this Scripture. To my amazement, she replied, “You have no way of knowing this, but that is the passage I’ve prayed for him (her husband) for the last 7 years!”

Well, the story continues, and there are many other amazing things that God did over the next 2 years to continue to encourage us that He was at work and would bring this man back. And yes, my friend’s husband DID return to the Lord in 2007, slowly at first, but now completely and with his full heart! It’s been remarkable to see what God has done in their lives since then.

I could blog story after story of what God did in this, but today I wanted to remember Christmas 2005 and the ornament, what God spoke through it. I’m thankful that God pursues His people, the great Shepherd who seeks his lost sheep. His timeline and ways are not the same as ours, but they are good and right. We should never lose heart.

Praise Your Name, Jesus. At this season of Christmas, we remember that You came to earth to save us, so that sin should no longer have a hold on us. You deliver Your people from bondage and set them free to love and know You. And You fill us with great joy! Your sacrifice for us has given us new and eternal life in You, and our sins are forgiven through faith in You.

Praise the LORD of hosts, For the LORD is good, For His mercy endures forever!