Category: Stones of Remembrance

A Quick Praise

Carolyn

Well, I went to the dermatologist a couple of weeks ago for a place that had come up on my nose a few weeks prior to that. While he assured me it was not dangerous, he immediately wanted to freeze it off. I didn’t want to do that, so he said I could come back when I wanted to, but that in the meantime, it would keep growing.

I had been praying about it since I had first noticed it, so I decided I would just keep praying about it. I’ve had things like this happen before where a doctor tells me what I need, I opt to wait and pray, and things improve. I’ve seen miracles in my daughter’s life and mine physically (both big and small), and why then would I begin to underestimate God?

I know this was small, I know it seems inconsequential, I know freezing it would have worked out just as well. But I chose to wait and pray. After my last appointment, it did seem to change, and I got nervous, and decided the sooner I got rid of it the better. I made another appointment for today, but continued to pray that it might go away before the visit.

Well, last night, I rubbed a washcloth over my face, and it came right off, completely. I was so thankful. The doctor’s office told me this morning to still come in so he could be sure it was gone, and it was. When he saw it was gone, the doctor asked me, “What did you do?” I could only tell him the only thing I had done: pray! He said, “Well, if it comes back, pray again.”

So anyway, I just want to thank the Lord for this. I know it’s a smaller thing, it wasn’t anything serious, but it was just a small sweet blessing. I had had a rotten day yesterday, too, and was so sad last night, convicted of my ugly sin — and at all times for Him to be gracious to me — in the midst of such ugliness — it just seemed to show me a glimpse of His kindness, patience and mercy, His forgiveness and help when I feel helpless.

Now literally, since I have arrived home this afternoon from the visit, seriously, there is a place itching on my face. I just went and looked in the mirror and it’s some kind of spot! What in the world am I to make of that?! Well, at all times, and in all things, God is in control. He is good. He is worthy of our trust. I want to believe Him and know that He is able. Even when we have suffered physically in greater ways, God has always been near and made Himself known. For all these things, for who He is, for His power and love, I am thankful!

A Quick Praise

Carolyn

I just wanted to say a quick praise today!

9 years ago today, we brought our second born home from the hospital after a 3 month stay in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. She was discharged from the hospital on her original due date, though she had been born in late July. We came home with an apena monitor so we’d know if her heart stopped, some medications, and lots of instructions on how to follow up with eye exams, weight checks, physical therapy, doctor visits, etc.

I say we brought her “home,” but in reality, we brought her to my mom’s house. She had been born in Memphis, though we lived in Virginia at the time. I had been visiting my mom that summer when the pregnancy deteriorated to the point of hospitalization in early July. And there in Memphis, we stayed for the next 5 1/2 months.

How wonderful for God to provide this place for her birth, where I had grown up and had a loving church family and friends to surround us, my family to care for my oldest while I was in the hospital the month of July, an OB/GYN as my mom’s next door neighbor who God used to save our lives, outstanding doctors, familiarity with where I was. We had been living in Virginia for my husband’s doctoral program at the university there, but we did not have this kind of network, and I actually am not convinced my daughter or I would be alive if the pregnancy had proceeded there where my doctor dismissed everything in this extremely rare, life threatening situation. He did not even want to do an ultrasound, and he wouldn’t have referred me to a high risk doctor. We weren’t even at the UVa hospital, but a lower level one called Martha Jefferson which could not have met our needs. And my doctor was ever reluctant to pass his patients off to anyone associated with UVa.

I see God’s provision in being at my mom’s house with this doctor who came by every day, understood the situation, and got me the care we needed.

I praise the Lord today for His kindness and mercy, for His love for us. I praise Him that He uses hard times, times of suffering, to draw us to Himself in ways we’d never do otherwise. I praise Him that He uses these things for His glory. I praise Him that He allowed my child to live, and I pray she will bless His name always and follow Him all the days of her life, loving Him with all her heart, soul, mind and strength.

Seek and You Will Find

Carolyn

Hebrews 11:6
“But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.”

Matthew 7:7-8
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

I love verses like this, and I love it that we have a God who keeps His promises. Repeatedly in Scripture, we see that the one who seeks finds, that when we draw near to God, He draws near to us, that He hears and acts on behalf of His people, that He rewards those who seek Him. Pretty amazing!

I’ve really needed wisdom this week for a number of things. God brought something into my family’s life that was unexpected. His Word and love for Him seem to require that I should respond in a certain way, a way that demands I give more of myself than I would naturally be inclined to do. Something that may not be easy or natural. I look ahead and wonder, “just for now or how long?”

The other morning, I knelt and asked God about it. You know how sometimes, you just want God to be very clear about what you should do in a situation, but you also realize that maybe He doesn’t need to be any clearer, for the Bible has already shed perfect light on how we should respond and obey. Nonetheless, I sought God. Though my words felt just like words, I asked Him for the faith to believe that there was power in prayer and that He could show us what we should do. I wanted Him to reveal to us something confirming about this whole situation.

That afternoon I went to pick up my son early from an event at church. I was able to sit down and hear the testimony of a college student who is working this summer with the children. How could it be that what he shared was identical to what I was thinking and we are dealing with? There’s the answer, right there. It was very clear. I couldn’t help the tears from flowing as I sat in the back of the room, realizing there is really no mistake about what God would have us do.

There is joy in believing and obeying. There always is, no matter the situation. I sense God providing for what He asks us to do. I sense my heart giving way to His will. I praise Him that He did answer me when I called and He did it quickly!

I’ve been reading A Quest for More by Paul Tripp. He is, in fact, speaking at our church tomorrow night, and I am excited to hear him speak. He writes about how we were made for transcendence, but Satan offered Adam and Eve an independent glory, or autonomy. “The quest for autonomy will always crush transcendence.” So rather than living for the huge glory of God, we can end up living for “shadow glories filling the dim cubicle of my own glory.” Living for my little kingdom instead of His.

Now this is the part that got me: “Most of us have learned how to celebrate our inclusion in God’s great and glorious work, while functionally caring for little that does not directly address us. In doing this we have Christianized our autonomy. Essentially, we are asking God to give his endorsement to our attempt to shrink the transcendent glories of his kingdom to the size of our circle of personal concern. And even though we are trying to live inside of God’s boundaries, we have still manufactured a life where self is at the center. It is quite possible for our Christianity to be quite narrow and selfish and to not be aware of the shrinkage.”

That’s just a snippet, but he goes on in a way that let me see I like to serve when it’s in a way that pleases me. Oh, I want to please Him, and I want to do His will, but it’s nice when it lines up with my will! There is so much more, and He often calls us to things that are not easy, but the blessing will no doubt be incredible when we obey Him. And He’ll continue to expand our view.

Praise You, Lord, for rewarding those who believe You and diligently seek You. Thank you that you can be found! Thank you that Your Spirit is at work in us to make us more like You. Thank you for teaching us your ways.

It’s Officially Summer!

Carolyn
2008 Field Day — Casted Arm

School ended today with what has become a tradition — field day followed by lots of food in the classrooms before noon dismissal, then the conclusion of parent teacher conferences. It’s a great conclusion to the year!

For those of us who work at the school, it’s a sentimental day, as well, as we realize some of us will now be parting ways, perhaps never to see one another again. It’s a day full of reflection on the past year and emotion in seeing what God has done in our children, in our school, the beauty of what He has brought together, and the hope that He will continue it despite change, which is unavoidable and even necessary.

Today reminded me of God’s faithfulness as I looked back to one year ago at this time. We finished field day, and I took my son to the orthopedist for a follow up visit to see how his wrist was healing. It had been broken 2 weeks before, but was not displaced and looked to be a simple matter. However, we learned at this visit that his wrist had become displaced in the cast and he would need surgery the next morning to try to correct it as soon as possible. The hope was he wouldn’t need an incision or pins, but those were feasible options.

Two days prior, at our teachers’ chapel where we shared Scripture and exhortations with the students, I had shared a special verse to me: Jeremiah 32:17: “Ah, Lord God, you have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched hand and there is nothing too hard for You.” That was the first verse I had learned in Kindergarten, and God had used it in my life as I had prayed for this school.

I shared with the children the power of God… that we sat where we were, had the teachers we did, had been blessed with this school because God was and is powerful. I encouraged them to trust Him and not put “God in a box” but instead believe that He can do great things.

So as I sat at the orthopedist’s office hearing his words “we need to do surgery, right away, tomorrow, ….. pins, incisions,” I could also hear in my head the words I had spoken in chapel, “God is powerful, trust Him…” I knew this was a chance for my son’s faith to grow, that God had allowed this for good.

My son was naturally nervous about the surgery. My husband had left town that morning on a 6 hour trip, and had turned right around to come back home. We went to dinner while we waited on his return. A song played on the way: “Your grace is enough, Heaven reaching down to us, Your grace is enough for me; God, I see your grace is enough, I’m covered in your love, Your grace is enough for me; remember Your people; remember Your children; remember Your promise, O God. Your grace is enough. Your grace is enough. Your grace is enough for me.”

It was just a good song to remind my son that God loved him and is gracious. I told him to lay out his arm before God and ask Him to heal it. The sunroof was open and the sun was pouring in down on his casted arm as he held out his arm to God and gave it to Him. It did seem like “heaven was reaching down to us.” I loved seeing my son’s faith that He was willing to lay it before God. Before bed, my son told me he wanted to read Job “because it was about a man who suffered.” It was sweet to see him seek the Lord.

The surgery the next day went fine, and we were thankful to find the surgeon could shove the bones really hard back into place and did not need pins and incisions. However, he ended up with a much larger cast and sling for the next few weeks and we canceled summer camps and plans. But we saw in the midst of it again God’s goodness and grace.

Opportunities to trust Him. Steps in our journey. Stops along the way where we see God actively in our lives so that we can look back and remember what great things He has done and move forward with confident expectation that the God who has done great things can and does act on behalf of His people.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.” Jeremiah 17:7

Entrusting My Life to God

Carolyn

There is a mom in our school who is fighting cancer. Her faith has been amazing, despite the fact that she is walking in such deep waters. I have been astounded by the peace she has and the unwavering confidence in the Lord for whatever He has for her life. I commented to her husband several times a couple of weeks back that she has an amazing faith. Each time, her husband would say, “She is just an ordinary woman with an extraordinary God.” He said when God’s Spirit fills someone, they become this way, what they would otherwise not be. Those thoughts kept going through my mind: ordinary woman, extraordinary God.

At the same time, a friend called me for lunch. She had been wanting to read a book together. During lunch, she pulled out a few options that she liked. She placed one on the table in front of me entitled “The Uncommon Woman: Making an Ordinary Life Extraordinary” by Susie Larson. I knew the moment I read those two words in the title “Ordinary” and “Extraordinary” that this was the book we should read.

Have you ever felt like a book was written just for you? I admit, upon first glance when I looked at the book, I wondered if it would have much depth and whether it would be written in a simplistic sort of way, covering things I’ve heard over and over. (There goes my arrogant tendency again to think I’ve heard it all!) But it has been just the opposite, a word fitly spoken for the current condition of my soul. I’ve been astounded each day how God has used the book to meet me right where I am!

An example: Do you ever operate in life in need of man’s approval? Feeling like you’re valued because of what you do, not because of who you are, as made in God’s image? Of course, our value is already settled in Christ, but even giving mental assent to some truth doesn’t necessarily mean it flows into the recesses of our hearts and into pure belief, resulting in appropriate obedience and actions.

As I prayed through some of this the other day, I went to John 2 where I had been reading in my daily time with the Lord. It talks about how people were believing in Jesus, but He would not entrust Himself to man because He knew what was in their hearts. It occurred to me that Jesus, whether he was wildly affirmed, applauded and accepted OR rejected, scorned and killed, never entrusted Himself to man. He simply came to do the mission for which He was called — to do His Father’s will and to glorify Him.

It brought to mind that verse from I Peter 4:19 about how we should “entrust ourselves to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.” It began to dawn on me that this life is about entrusting myself to my Creator to do what is right, not on man or man’s opinions of me. Whether I am rejected or accepted (or in most cases, just neutrally viewed by others, because truly, people aren’t thinking about me anyway!), it should make no difference. I should carry on with my life’s mission to know God, to bring Him glory, and to entrust myself to Him.

Interestingly, the same day I was reading this passage in John 2 and praying through this, I visited the school where I spent my years from Kindergarten to 12th grade. The lady I met with was stressing how they keep their mission ever before them, visible in every room, so they don’t forget what they are all about. Like Jesus with His mission on earth. Again, a reminder that He came to do His Father’s will, to fulfill His mission. My life should follow that example.

That evening (and I realize I’m jumping around a lot, so this timeline may not be clear, but this is all in one day — the reading in John, the realization to “entrust,” the visit to the school), I was blessed to be able to go to the Chris Tomlin concert. I had not realized until the day before that he was be in town (Memphis), and I had prayed that morning about how I could go, but I really didn’t know anyone at that late time to ask to accompany me. I had almost forgotten about it when my friend called and said her son was sick — did I want to go to the concert with them… YES!

I didn’t know what to expect and wasn’t expecting much, but can I just say “amazing”? Is it theologically correct to say someone is “anointed”? Because if it is, Chris Tomlin is. Unbelievable stories He told of God at work. Unbelievable worship songs. Songs that, one after another, caused me to remember God’s work in our lives until the tears wouldn’t stop. All I could think, when the awareness of the reality and presence of God is so strong, is how can I offer so little to the One who has given me so much?

I’ll spare trying to describe my every thought and emotion of the night, but it was one of those rare times in life where God is so close and real, so near. Interestingly, before I went to Memphis, I had been bummed by besetting sins that keep me bound, and I was unsettled. I was reminded of “draw near to God and He will draw near to You.” I took that promise and did that and emptied my heart to God, and I felt like this night was Him drawing right back and giving me the freedom I so want to have. Chris Tomlin said, “How can you raise your hands to God if your are carrying such heavy burdens?” He came to set us free, and truly, I felt like the chains were falling off!

So to get where I was going originally with this post — I went home after the concert so full of God’s amazing love. Before bed, I decided to go ahead and read a little in this “Uncommon Woman” book, still doubting it would have any effect on me. I could not believe it when I read it: “The uncommon woman understands her capacity for pettiness, selfishness, and a sinful bent that leads her away from the Almighty. But her thoughts don’t dwell there. No, despite what she knows about herself, she entrusts herself fully to the One who will shape her into a thing of magnificence…. Accepting acceptance means refusing to let others define you, because God already has….. Jesus deeply understood His identity with His Father…. He came to fulfill His mission.”

I had also been praying through daily and memorizing Psalm 86:11-13 about “Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in Your truth. Give me an undivided heart that I may fear Your name.” The prayer in the book was even about “I will learn to walk in this truth.”

I was astounded again by the ways of God… that He is able to meet each of us so perfectly.

Now I am back from spring break, back in the nitty gritty of each day, and want to live in what the Lord has revealed to me, to entrust myself to Him each day. Maybe as I seek to obey Him and respond to this truth, this will become easier. Today, I truly felt free, and I praise Him for that, for speaking to me in these ways.