Author: Carolyn

I am a Christian, a sinner saved by God's amazing grace. Much like my life, my blog is a work in progress. The main objective I have for this blog is to "proclaim the praises" of the One who called me out of darkness and into His marvelous light! (1 Peter 2:9)

Entrusting My Life to God

Carolyn

There is a mom in our school who is fighting cancer. Her faith has been amazing, despite the fact that she is walking in such deep waters. I have been astounded by the peace she has and the unwavering confidence in the Lord for whatever He has for her life. I commented to her husband several times a couple of weeks back that she has an amazing faith. Each time, her husband would say, “She is just an ordinary woman with an extraordinary God.” He said when God’s Spirit fills someone, they become this way, what they would otherwise not be. Those thoughts kept going through my mind: ordinary woman, extraordinary God.

At the same time, a friend called me for lunch. She had been wanting to read a book together. During lunch, she pulled out a few options that she liked. She placed one on the table in front of me entitled “The Uncommon Woman: Making an Ordinary Life Extraordinary” by Susie Larson. I knew the moment I read those two words in the title “Ordinary” and “Extraordinary” that this was the book we should read.

Have you ever felt like a book was written just for you? I admit, upon first glance when I looked at the book, I wondered if it would have much depth and whether it would be written in a simplistic sort of way, covering things I’ve heard over and over. (There goes my arrogant tendency again to think I’ve heard it all!) But it has been just the opposite, a word fitly spoken for the current condition of my soul. I’ve been astounded each day how God has used the book to meet me right where I am!

An example: Do you ever operate in life in need of man’s approval? Feeling like you’re valued because of what you do, not because of who you are, as made in God’s image? Of course, our value is already settled in Christ, but even giving mental assent to some truth doesn’t necessarily mean it flows into the recesses of our hearts and into pure belief, resulting in appropriate obedience and actions.

As I prayed through some of this the other day, I went to John 2 where I had been reading in my daily time with the Lord. It talks about how people were believing in Jesus, but He would not entrust Himself to man because He knew what was in their hearts. It occurred to me that Jesus, whether he was wildly affirmed, applauded and accepted OR rejected, scorned and killed, never entrusted Himself to man. He simply came to do the mission for which He was called — to do His Father’s will and to glorify Him.

It brought to mind that verse from I Peter 4:19 about how we should “entrust ourselves to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.” It began to dawn on me that this life is about entrusting myself to my Creator to do what is right, not on man or man’s opinions of me. Whether I am rejected or accepted (or in most cases, just neutrally viewed by others, because truly, people aren’t thinking about me anyway!), it should make no difference. I should carry on with my life’s mission to know God, to bring Him glory, and to entrust myself to Him.

Interestingly, the same day I was reading this passage in John 2 and praying through this, I visited the school where I spent my years from Kindergarten to 12th grade. The lady I met with was stressing how they keep their mission ever before them, visible in every room, so they don’t forget what they are all about. Like Jesus with His mission on earth. Again, a reminder that He came to do His Father’s will, to fulfill His mission. My life should follow that example.

That evening (and I realize I’m jumping around a lot, so this timeline may not be clear, but this is all in one day — the reading in John, the realization to “entrust,” the visit to the school), I was blessed to be able to go to the Chris Tomlin concert. I had not realized until the day before that he was be in town (Memphis), and I had prayed that morning about how I could go, but I really didn’t know anyone at that late time to ask to accompany me. I had almost forgotten about it when my friend called and said her son was sick — did I want to go to the concert with them… YES!

I didn’t know what to expect and wasn’t expecting much, but can I just say “amazing”? Is it theologically correct to say someone is “anointed”? Because if it is, Chris Tomlin is. Unbelievable stories He told of God at work. Unbelievable worship songs. Songs that, one after another, caused me to remember God’s work in our lives until the tears wouldn’t stop. All I could think, when the awareness of the reality and presence of God is so strong, is how can I offer so little to the One who has given me so much?

I’ll spare trying to describe my every thought and emotion of the night, but it was one of those rare times in life where God is so close and real, so near. Interestingly, before I went to Memphis, I had been bummed by besetting sins that keep me bound, and I was unsettled. I was reminded of “draw near to God and He will draw near to You.” I took that promise and did that and emptied my heart to God, and I felt like this night was Him drawing right back and giving me the freedom I so want to have. Chris Tomlin said, “How can you raise your hands to God if your are carrying such heavy burdens?” He came to set us free, and truly, I felt like the chains were falling off!

So to get where I was going originally with this post — I went home after the concert so full of God’s amazing love. Before bed, I decided to go ahead and read a little in this “Uncommon Woman” book, still doubting it would have any effect on me. I could not believe it when I read it: “The uncommon woman understands her capacity for pettiness, selfishness, and a sinful bent that leads her away from the Almighty. But her thoughts don’t dwell there. No, despite what she knows about herself, she entrusts herself fully to the One who will shape her into a thing of magnificence…. Accepting acceptance means refusing to let others define you, because God already has….. Jesus deeply understood His identity with His Father…. He came to fulfill His mission.”

I had also been praying through daily and memorizing Psalm 86:11-13 about “Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in Your truth. Give me an undivided heart that I may fear Your name.” The prayer in the book was even about “I will learn to walk in this truth.”

I was astounded again by the ways of God… that He is able to meet each of us so perfectly.

Now I am back from spring break, back in the nitty gritty of each day, and want to live in what the Lord has revealed to me, to entrust myself to Him each day. Maybe as I seek to obey Him and respond to this truth, this will become easier. Today, I truly felt free, and I praise Him for that, for speaking to me in these ways.

My Daughter’s Blog

Carolyn

My daughter started her own blog to share her poetry. She is quite funny and clever for 8 years old!

I had high hopes of keeping up better with my blog this month, but I have been remiss once again.

We had a fun family trip this week to Utica, Illinois. We spent the night at a resort with an indoor water park, an amusement park, and a miniature golf course. We had a good time being away as a family, and the children especially enjoyed themselves and bringing home souvenirs. Starved Rock State Park is also there with a neat little lodge where we had a country meal, buffet style. There are some great walking trails there, so it will be fun to go again in the future. It’s amazing how just 24 hours away can refresh you from the daily demands of life.

We had dinner with 4 other couples last night. I was thinking today about different conversations I had with those friends and others this week and a common thread that has been running through them — things that keep people awake at night. It might be politics, the economy, irritation with a friend or neighbor, jealousy, a health issue, or a work problem.

As I recounted each of my friends’ situations, and thought about the things that can keep me awake at night, there was another common thread — these thoughts that stir in our minds and control our emotions don’t seem to necessarily be based on truth, but are rather things that could almost be categorized as a person’s besetting sin. The things that keep me awake are not the things that keep other people awake; we all have our different issue that threatens to steal our joy and rob us of peace. I have been wrestling with mine for some time and so want to get to the point of just letting it go and not letting it matter to me.

What is the answer for them and for me? I think somehow, it must have to do with fixing our eyes on Jesus and speaking truth to the situation and not allowing ourselves to be controlled by anything other than His Spirit. Perhaps it means believing God that He can truly set us free from anxious thoughts and create in us a peace and confidence in Him.

I have a friend who is very sick with cancer. Her faith has amazed me. Her husband continually points to our extraordinary God who is helping her, noting that she is merely an ordinary woman. God has made her extraordinary though. She has sought Him for years, so that now, she is able to stand and believe in a time of such deep pain. She is ministering to so many through this. I have thought of her every day this week. When I am challenged by my besetting sin, I have remembered her example of faith and let it go.

This is truly a rambling post; perhaps I shouldn’t publish it. Just some random thoughts this week. I do praise the Lord for His sovereignty, His purposes for His people that are good even when we can’t understand. And I praise Him that we don’t have to fear things because we have hope in Him. And I praise Him that He can set us free from things that cause us to stumble and fall and that He is able to keep us from falling and to present us faultless before His throne.

To Him be all glory both now and forever!

Answered Prayer

Carolyn

I love clearly answered prayer! God is so good!

My friend’s husband was going to be traveling on business all month long. There was one trip in particular that was going to be a great distance away and a long time. When I talked to my friend last week, we decided we would pray that trip would be canceled, even though it wasn’t likely. We prayed that morning. As I left a prayer time with her, I walked to my car and drove away praying, “Lord, You can do this. I ask You to. I know You have the power to do this. So I ask you to.” It was one of those prayers of confident hope and expectation that just felt like “Why would I not ask this” and felt such certainty He could and would and that He would grow our faith in the process.

I saw my friend a couple of days ago and asked her if the trip was canceled. “No,” she said. Well, I do admit, now that it had been a week since we prayed, I thought maybe it wouldn’t be at this point. But God has His timing and ways. Today, my friend called me. “I just hung up with [husband]… the trip is canceled!” They were excited; we were excited. Just rejoicing that God could and God did and He made it so visible to all of us that He did it!

This may sound small, but it showed me God is big. Oh, for faith to trust Him more, believe Him more, and not hesitate to ask Him big things, because quite simply, He can do anything!

Praise You, Lord!

Be Dressed in Readiness

Carolyn

A couple of blogs back, I wrote about being caught in a Texas hailstorm back in 1995. I shared about how a song on the radio was comforting to me in that moment as the car was being crushed and I was afraid. I felt like the Lord was speaking to me in my moment of fear and panic through the song: “God is in control…. there is no power above or beside Him, we know….”

I always felt like God so clearly spoke to me that day in a way that I had never experienced before. (By the way, for those who read my blog and know how God uses music in my life, this was the first time — and the only time for many years — I had ever felt like God spoke to me in a song!) But there was also a part of me deep down that questioned that — was it just a “coincidence”? Does God really speak that way? Somehow in my growing up years, either I had missed it or it wasn’t talked about that God does speak to us. I tended to be very skeptical of anything like this. So I don’t think I shared it with anyone — but somewhere deep inside me, I knew it was the Lord that day comforting me through that song.

Fast forward to the summer of 2004. I was doing my first Beth Moore Bible study with some friends. It was called Jesus, the One and Only, and was a study on the book of Luke. To my surprise, I had been thoroughly enjoying this study and loving Beth Moore! I had heard about her for quite some time and been reluctant to do a Bible study that everyone else was doing — what is that rebellion in me all about?! I had all kinds of pre-conceived, yet so misguided, notions!

Anyway, each day had been showing me something new — isn’t that amazing about God’s Word — it does that. And He has given Beth Moore a gift of insights that seem to apply to anyone at any time, no matter the situation.

So it was late one evening and I was not in the mood to do my Bible study. This was a time in my life when I was still addicted to TV in the evening after I got my kids down. I would watch one show to the next, frittering my life away, not doing anything meaningful. I reasoned that I really didn’t need to do my Bible study that day… I had already learned so much the 2 prior days, how could there be anything else God had to show me?! Yes, I know, the arrogance I had is staggering!

So I started into another typical evening, Law & Order, followed by the news and on into Oprah was the plan… just mind-numbing activity. Well, when the news came on, my family was all in bed asleep already, and suddenly, a violent storm came up out of nowhere. The lights flashed and the TV blinked and the storm came. Given my fear of storms that still lingered now, I jumped up and debated, “Do I wake up the kids and bring them into the hallway for safety?” I rushed to wake up my husband who kept on sleeping after urging me that everyone was fine.

I then quickly decided I must be prepared, so I ran and put on my pajamas, lit a bunch of candles in case we lost power, and got everything ready for the worst. I then decided maybe it wasn’t such a bad time to do Bible study. I sat down at the kitchen table with my Bible, study book, candles lit all around, and me in my pajamas, ready for anything!

I could not believe it when I opened the study to that day’s lesson. It was titled “Keep Your Lamps Burning.” The verse was taken from Luke 12:35-36: “Be dressed in readiness, and keep your lamps lit. Be like men who are waiting for their master when he returns from the wedding feast, so that they may immediately open the door to him when he comes and knocks.”

Do you see the picture? Be dressed in readiness with your candles burning basically. And there I sat, now dressed in readiness with my candles lit, a literal example of what my spiritual life should look like.

God showed me He can and does have other things to show me in His Word. It made me wonder whether watching TV each night was the best way for me to be spiritually prepared and ready for His return. I am to be a faithful servant, awaiting my Master’s return.

Well, needless to say, this was the second time in my life where I felt like God had just used some circumstances to speak to me. It’s interesting that both times were in the midst of real life thunderstorms. But He does that, doesn’t He? He enters into the “storms” of our lives to show us Himself and give us hope, to teach us and use those hardships to help us know Him.

I praise Him for that, that He is a personal God, so ready to speak, willing to use any of life’s circumstances to reveal Himself to us. I didn’t even ask Him to in these instances, but He graciously opened my eyes to Himself. I praise Him for that. I don’t think I’d ever asked Him before that time to reveal things to me, but I’ve found He does when I ask. I praise Him for that, too.

Praise You, Lord, for using the storms of life to reveal Yourself to us. I want to be Your servant, dressed in readiness, with my candles burning, expectant, responsive, alert, faithful, sensible, obedient, serving you as I await Your return. Not for me, but for You. Help me to go forward in Your strength and by Your power, to hear Your voice and see with Your eyes, and to obey You as I live in these days and wait for the certain hope of Your return. Praise You, Lord!

A Woman of Prayer

Carolyn

My friend told me today that her aunt died last week. This lady was 78 years old and a very godly woman, a woman of prayer, a woman who was not often seen, not in the spotlight, but committed to prayer. When she didn’t show up to a doctor’s appointment last week, family members went to check on her. They arrived and went in, and the lights were off in the house. They found her in her bedroom, on her knees in prayer, with her Bible before her, having died unexpectedly and suddenly, in that position. It struck me all day… what an amazing way to leave this life… talking to her Savior, entering into His presence and seeing Him face to face. What a blessing!

I love her example. I’d love to know the things God had shown her through the years through prayer. I’d love to hear her testimony of the power of prayer and what it was that brought her daily to her knees. Surely it was something powerful, yes, an encounter with God Himself during those times spent daily in prayer.

My children are studying the Lord’s Prayer in chapel at school for about 12 weeks, taking a phrase each week. They’ve been encouraged to make prayer a part of their lives in the hallways, throughout their days, and wherever they go. Make it a practice. We’ve learned that prayer is first about God, not about us. “Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” This is how the Lord’s prayer begins, before it ever gets to us…. then it’s “Give us this day our daily bread, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom, and the power and the glory forever. Amen.”

Prayer. Power. “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5:16b

Something kept this woman on her knees. I believe she knew the power of prayer. I pray we know it, too.