School

From time to time, I have people ask me how we got involved with the classical Christian school that my children attend. For months, I’ve wanted to write it down because it was such an amazing display to me of God’s power. As we are at the 5 year mark, it seemed a good time to do so:

Just before Thanksgiving 2005 — My brother-in-law was leaving town for Thanksgiving, but ran by our house to drop something off. He had just been to breakfast with a business acquaintance, and this man (now our head of school) told him about a school that he and his wife were hoping to start. He gave my brother-in-law a small envelope of information, which my brother-in-law brought directly to me and told me he thought I would be interested.

I read the flyer about the classical school that was starting. Having sent my son to public school for Kindergarten and homeschooling him for first grade, we were unsure what to do for the following year. We had liked both of those options for different reasons, but were not settled about what we should do long term. (And let me note here that this is not a commentary on which educational option might be best for a family. This is a story of God’s amazing power and work in our lives! I know He calls different families to different schools, sometimes even for different children, and it can all change year to year. I’ve seen and experienced that, so I just want to clarify that.) Anyway, this possibility definitely interested us!

I immediately emailed my friends telling them about the upcoming informational meeting. I called my friend Mindy to see if she would be interested; I still remember her saying at the end of our conversation: “It’s like the Lord is creating a school just for us!” Isn’t that how personal God can be?

December 5, 2005 — I believe this was the date of the school’s first interest meeting; we attended with many of our friends, and I was pretty much sold! We had things we would need to figure out, though, before we could jump on board, such as how to afford it. I remember at some point calling Julie, the woman who had the original vision for the school, and asking her if I could be part of the prayer group for the school even if I wasn’t able to send my kids there. She said that would be OK!

December 30, 2005 — While at my mom’s house for Christmas break, I woke up that morning with the words “one eighteen eight” going through my head loudly over and over. It was like the words of a Bible verse: “118:8; 118:8; 118:8” over and over. Only on a couple of occasions had I had verses in my head like this, and in both those cases, it would become very obvious what the Lord had in it! So I went and looked up Psalm 118:8, knowing this would be the only Bible verse this reference could mean as no other book of the Bible has that many chapters.

Psalm 118:8 said: “It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.”

So I began to ponder what application that might have for my life. But I knew that though I could apply it to many things, there would be one clear thing. I told the Lord I would wait to see what He wanted to show me.

December 31, 2005 — I believe this is the first prayer meeting that the school had, on New Year’s Eve. We were still in Memphis, so we did not attend, but God was doing His own work on our hearts at that time.

Sunday, January 1, 2006 — Before church, I did a short devotion with the children on Jacob & Esau. They were then sitting on the floor in my mom’s den watching a Scooby Doo and eating pop-tarts (at grandmother’s house, remember?), and I was sitting in the back of the room on my mom’s sofa reading my Bible. I was trying to decide what to study next as I had just finished a Beth Moore study on the Patriarchs and Genesis. (I had been given an advance copy and studied it alone, without the videos, and was absolutely fascinated by the connections between the Old and New Testaments!) As I sat there, it seemed like Exodus would be the next logical place to go.

While I was sitting there thinking, my 7 year old son stood up from his food and TV, walked across the room to some bookshelves (my mom has floor to ceiling bookshelves on either side of a fireplace), scanned around and grabbed a yellow book and walked it over and laid it in my lap, then went back and sat back down to keep eating and watching TV.

I looked at the yellow book in my lap, and it was entitled A Devotional Commentary on Exodus, by F.B. Meyer. I was in shock! I asked my son, knowing full well he would have no idea that my intent was to study Exodus as I had been alone in the back of the room in my thoughts, but nonetheless, I said, “Did you see what I was reading and happen to know this book was on the shelf?” And he replied, “What? What do you mean?” And I called him over and showed him how the book said “Exodus” and I pointed to my Bible and showed him “Exodus,” and he said, “Oh, neat.” He had not / could not have seen this and had no idea and didn’t even know why he went to get the book! It was as though the Lord was giving me something He wanted me to have while I studied Exodus. It became the perfect book for me to study over the next several months as we were led out of something into something new that God was doing, and we were being called to trust Him, even when things would be hard and it would be easy to complain or want to give up (like the Israelites in the desert)! God used that study in the most remarkable ways!

January 4, 2006 — The question on my heart was school. I knew we didn’t want to homeschool long term, but wasn’t certain of God’s will. I went to read an email we had received from Doug (who was starting the school). He put the website on the email, and when I clicked to go there, when it came up, it said, “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.” Then there was a picture of a tree and another verse from Psalm 1:3.

The reason all of this was significant to me is that the verse there from Jeremiah 17:7 is the exact same verse as found in Psalm 118:8, the verse I had been woken up with the week before. I looked it up in my Bible, and beside Jeremiah 17:7, it said in the column “Psalm 118:8.”

Then we had been been homeschooling, we were studying Psalm 1, and we had drawn a tree and studied a tree in our yard and named him “Roots” and talked about all of these very themes that were pictured on the website!

To me, all of these things combined were clear calling that I couldn’t resist. I wrote in my journal, “I believe this is from the Lord as confirmation to pursue this. But Lord, You would have to provide. But I know You are the Lord who provides manna and water from the Rock! Let me see You do this!” I continued to pray for His confirmation and that He would use a lunch that my husband was having with Doug that Friday morning. What I did not want was me to lead the way and insist we go after this if my husband wasn’t for it, too. We had done that with homeschooling, and that is just a miserable thing to be in two different places on something.

January 6, 2006 — My husband had lunch with the head of school and learned that I could possibly work at the school, and his heart was completely on board, having no reservations.

I wrote in my journal, “Even as I write this, I feel excitement at how one day, I’ll look back at this and see how and what You did and glory to Your Name!”

Thus began our journey! We were convinced it was from the Lord. We continued to see Him do mighty things:

  • I prayed my son would have good friends, especially some boys since all his cousins and our neighbors and his sister were girls. By the time the school started, there were not only 5 boys in his combined 1st/2nd class, but they were the sons of some of my closest friends. By 2nd/3rd grade, there were 10 boys and 4 girls. I’d watch the class file out down the hall for a break or playtime, and just pause with wonder as those 10 boys would walk past — good friends! (I should note the girls were — and still are — his good friends, too, 3 of them being the daughters of close friends in my prayer group; but what struck me was how God had so lovingly answered that request for boys in his class — He just went exceedingly, abundantly beyond what I asked or imagined!)
  • There were challenging days, hard days, days you want to give up. Each time I’d question, the Lord would immediately confirm His plan and give me the strength to press on. I asked myself one day in my prayer time, “Well, what do you want?… do you just want an easy life, no working, just drop off the kids, go work out, eat with friends, or such things as seemed more desirable?!” I answered “No!” I went to my Bible study that very night, and it was the first video in the series, and Beth Moore spoke to this very thing. She turned to the camera and said, “Easy lives don’t make great stories! Your life was meant to be a great story!”
  • The 4 couples who were first involved with the school met weekly to pray each Saturday morning from January to August 2006 before school began. We saw God do mighty things! Some of them deserve their own post sometime. We have an awesome, mighty God!

There is more, so much more. I could write and write and write. But I’ll just say this was the clearest calling I had ever known, confirmed at every step, so to turn back was never an option! It’s been an adventure, a means of our sanctification, a struggle at times, wrestling through things, but a joy as well, seeing God work and move and use this little school for His glory. One of my favorite verses in this journey has been:

“Not to us, not to us, but to Your Name be the glory!” Psalm 115:1

He has done this. We have not. We want to be His willing servants, but He has shown His power and might and done this. Praise You, Lord, and thank you for your willingness to reveal Yourself so clearly when we seek you through Your Word and prayer!

Brush With Fame

In April 2006, I went with five friends to an event in Indianapolis called Downpour. James McDonald, Joe Stowell, Beth Moore, and Crawford Loritts were the speakers, and Harvest Bible Chapel was putting it together. We were drawn to it mostly because of Beth Moore, someone whom we all love and whom God had used in our lives through her Bible studies. My friends and I were hoping to meet her.

Right before the event was to begin, four of us went out to the restrooms. While outside the main arena, my friends saw Beth Moore walk past on her way inside, and they wanted me to go over and say hi. (As it happens, Beth’s daughter is a dear friend of ours and was at that time living in our little town.) I anticipated that Beth was trying to get in for the conference to begin, so I was reluctant to say anything, but my friends were literally pushing me toward her to say hello. She was surrounded by what looked like body guards and her assistant, and I just could not interrupt her path into the arena — until, all of a sudden, she turned her head around as she was walking and looked right at me.

I said, “Oh, hi, I’m Melissa’s friend, ….” Well, she was as sweet as she could be, rushed over to hug me, said some warm things, and so on. Honestly, I thought I was at the point in my life where very few people would leave me starstruck, but you suddenly have this awareness that this is the godly woman who has meant so much to your spiritual life, and all I could say, over and over, was “You’re so tiny.”

Not “Thank you so much for your ministry” or “You have no idea what you’ve meant to me” — No, just “you’re so tiny.”

Then I became a little more gathered and said, “Well, I’m just here with some friends…,” not wanting to forget my friends, and I looked over at the three of them, and they were standing there starstruck as though they were deer stuck in the headlights, smiling, unable to move. One of the most hilarious scenes I could imagine, the four of us there, acting like total idiots!

When we returned to our seats, there were our two other friends who had not gone out with us to the restrooms. They were so disappointed they had not seen Beth, while the four of us were beside ourselves with happiness!

At some point during the conference, we got to move down to the front seats due to some connections that one of my friends had with the folks at Harvest. We were sitting right around the speakers. During a break, we visited with Joe Stowell and his sweet wife, as they are longtime friends.

One of my two friends who had not had the chance to meet Beth Moore, but who really wanted to meet her, probably more than any of us, is in this picture talking to Joe Stowell, while Beth Moore is literally at her back.

This went on for many minutes while the five of us sat there in our seats in hysterics, waiting for them to back into each other, to turn around and meet each other, to make some sort of connection. I grabbed my camera so we could document for her later how close she had been to meeting Beth Moore! In fact, I blew up the picture and framed it for her for her birthday that May.

Maybe you have to love Beth as much as we do for this to seem even humorous, but it was really funny. The Downpour conference was great, too, and we were blessed to be there.

Sharing a Poem

My daughter loves to write poetry. I thought I would share one (below) that I found today.

We celebrated at dinner because it was 10 years ago today that she was discharged from the hospital after a 3 month stay. Thank you, Lord, for sparing her life and teaching her heart about You!

bringing baby home

meeting brother finally!
History repeated itself for Granddaddy whose own daughter was a micropreemie, too.
The Ways
Through the woods,
the rust train track,
Through the brush
in the looming black!
What do you see,
your companion and you?
All is total darkness
The nighttime on through.
The howls of the animals,
No moon or stars tonight.
No visible guidence over all the paths,
No visible sign of any light.
Is there a ditch just up ahead?
A boulder headed down?
No! We must keep going.
Sh! don’t make a sound.
Why are the woods so deadly dangerous?
Why is the sky so painfully black?
Where are we now, where are we?
(And I’m aching for a snack! 🙂 )
How would we know if we feel
A shiver or quake of eyes
Belonging to some woodsy-animal
Who may catch us by surprise?
Keep on going, though the obstacles.
Go the fierce deep miles on!
Don’t lay down to take a rest.
Don’t even begin to yawn.
You’re going to find it some time,
Because you believe that it’s true!
You were brave enough to start the journey,
Even over how the people mocked you!
If you just keep pressing forward,
And bravely don’t turn back,
You’ll be safe the whole way through,
Even though it’s a scary black.
You are in Virtuous hands, you know!
And they will hold you straight!
You will be able to go forward
If you believe…before it’s too late.
But you must believe before the morning,
Because when the time is near and the breeze
Is rough, you would have lost your only chance
To find the place with ease.
If you reached the place and did not trust,
You would be scarred and smashed.
And if you did not trust, you see,
The destination would now be trashed.
But if you did believe, you would
Reach the place all well and good, too.
And the place in which you’d find
Would be prepared for you.
Which way are you to choose?
Hurry! There’s not much time more!
And if you choose the worse way,
Your body will be sore.
If you choose the right way and trust Jesus,
You will see there is a light
That leads you down to Heaven’s gates
Where God is shining bright.
God may bring you through hard things
To lead you more to Himself and prayer.
But even through all these hard times,
He’ll bless you if you trust Him — layer after layer.
PSALM 105:1
Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

Summer Lessons

I’m finally remembering to do my summer wrap up post on how the Lord revealed Himself so mercifully to me during challenging times.

From the moment my husband planned our Europe trip, I dreaded it. I didn’t want to leave the children, I was anxious to travel overseas, and I am quite simply a homebody. I am a creature of habit and routine, and travel has always caused upheaval for me to leave my comfort zone. There are only a few exceptions, such as Florida, the Smokies, going to the lake, family camp, or other trips with my family. Nonetheless, I felt like it was the right decision to go, and I was encouraged to do so by many friends and family members.

Several times a week in the weeks prior to the trip, I would wake up in the night with an anxious heart, confess it to the Lord, acknowledge that this fear was not from Him, pray, quote Scripture, and return to sleep. Oftentimes, I would even wake up and scream out from crazy confusion in my sleep!

As the trip grew closer, my feelings of nervousness grew, the stress even manifesting itself in physical ways, but my decision to go was also certain. I would not back out. I was waiting to be surprised by how magnificent a trip it would be and to surely discover that my fears were unwarranted; somehow I expected to find out that maybe I would be a world traveler and be excited to plan future trips! I was also sort of waiting to be blessed for my “obedience” to go, if I’m honest!

No matter how much I had prayed about it during those weeks, there didn’t seem to be any kind of confirming word from the Lord speaking directly to my concerns. I just held on to what I knew was truth as found in the Bible, and I kept on in prayer, waiting for Him to help me. He did. There were nights I was comforted, nights I was blessed by reciting Scripture, and His presence was real. But I really wanted specific insight into how to handle this trip, and I didn’t have that.

Until the day before I left. June 13th. I love that about God. There is purpose in the waiting of learning to trust and obey Him, to believe Him even when we can’t see or know the outcome. And at the right time, He just provides exactly what is needed.

I was down in Memphis dropping off my children, planning to fly back to Chicago that afternoon to then fly the following day to Europe. It was a Sunday, and we did not make it to church. My mom’s friend called and said she wanted to bring by the CD of the sermon that she had just heard. It was by Reggie Sessions, pastor at Independent Presbyterian in Memphis. I’d never heard him before, but this was an excellent message from I Samuel 18, I believe. He talked about the slavery of living in our kingdom, the freedom of getting out of the way, and what we find at the end of the line.

In looking at the life of Saul, he described that it is when we live to protect our kingdom that we are bitter, jealous, resentful, angry — “it takes away our humanity,” he said, and we become a shell of a human being. We’re trying to be God and the center of our universes, and we’re bad at it. We want to be free, but we’re addicted to our kingdom.

He then talked about how we need to get out of the way. He looked at the life of Jonathan, Saul’s son, who surrendered to David’s kingship. He got off the throne and didn’t demand his rights. He laid his life into David’s hand, and gave David his sword, belt and bow.

Reggie described how we are at war with God, but we must surrender. We are fighting against Jesus the King and don’t want to surrender control of our lives. To stand down and be broken is the only way to liberation and peace of mind.

At the end of the line, there is nothing left to hide and no more attempts to control the world. This is where there is peace and joy. He described THE Person (Jesus) who got off His throne for us, who came to give us abundant life. When we surrender and go to the end of the line, “we get our true humanity back.” At the end of the line, it’s not loss, but gain.

What I found so convicting in the message was the description of one trying to control her life. Reggie said, “Some of you are too afraid to leave Memphis and all the things you love to go on a vacation.” It was funny how there were perfect quotes throughout the sermon that were completely accurate to my situation.

Later in the day, I was sitting in the Memphis airport delayed on my flight to Chicago. I began to pray and got out my journal to write my thoughts. They centered on the faithfulness of God: “Lord, You have been faithful!” I wrote a couple of paragraphs on His faithfulness and accompanying verses, then wrote, “You are asking me to do something so outside of my comfort zone, but I thank you for speaking to me, and I pray You will show me Yourself and reveal Yourself to me all along the way, just like You did with the sermon this morning.”

As I sat there, praying and listening, I wrote down what was on my heart: “Just take the next step. One step at a time. Wait on Me. Trust Me.

When I finally boarded the plane to Chicago a short time later, I opened up a book my mom had given me. It was The Saving Life of Christ by Ian Thomas. I’d never opened it before; it was a completely new book to me.

I opened the first page, and it said, “Faithful is He that calleth you, who also will do it.” (I Thess. 5:24) He then writes, “If you will but trust Christ, not only for the death He died in order to redeem you, but also for the life that He lives and waits to live through you, the very next step you take will be a step taken in the very energy and power of God Himself…. You will be restored to your true humanity.

Not only did the book begin by talking about the very contents of my prayer moments before — God’s faithfulness and my call to trust Him and take the next step — but it also re-affirmed the words in the sermon from Reggie — in so doing, you will be restored to your true humanity!

As I read this book, it absolutely amazed me that it spoke so directly to my current situation. As Ian Thomas developed life in the wilderness versus walking in abundance with Christ each day, he even wrote: “Do you still consider that you have the right to choose where you will spend your vacation? You do not have that right! Except in the wilderness!”

Over and over, the book spoke to my specific situation, and while I had waited for the Lord to speak to me, He so mercifully met me in such a powerful way.

The following day, June 14th, in traveling to Europe, I just did what He had shown me: take the next step. All I need to think about is the next step… not be worried about what is beyond it. So I would stand in the line to check my bags. All I need to do is check the bags. Then I would figure out boarding, and take that step. And the trip became just a series of steps wherein I could trust Him with each one.

When I was threatened to be overcome with fear, I could just remember He was with me, He is faithful, He would take me through this step, I could trust Him.

I hope I will hang on to these lessons as I go forward in my life. There were so many other things over the remainder of the summer, but these things really stick out to me. He is all we need, and He is more than enough. It is right to let Him be on the throne, to let Him guide us in each successive step, to believe Him for those moments and trust His sovereignty. He is faithful; He is good. I praise You, Lord!

“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:23 (ESV)

Praise the Lord!

Praise the LORD!
Praise God in His sanctuary;
Praise Him in His mighty expanse.
Praise Him for His mighty deeds;
Praise Him according to His excellent greatness.Praise Him with trumpet sound;
Praise Him with harp and lyre.
Praise Him with timbrel and dancing;
Praise Him with stringed instruments and pipe.
Praise Him with loud cymbals;
Praise Him with resounding cymbals.
Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD!

Psalm 150