Tag: calling

Working Mom

Carolyn
Some flowers I was sent for speaking at Bible Study

My friend Shelly recently published a post entitled “To Work or Not to Work.” I thought what she shared was insightful.

I am not a big planner. I just tend to go through life as it comes, not having lots of dreams about what I want or how it should happen. Growing up, I never thought too much about the kind of man I wanted to marry; I never planned out the kind of wedding I would want; I didn’t give too much thought to my major in college or the kind of career I might want; I didn’t think about the number of children I should have or the kind of decorating I would want in a house. I would just arrive at each next step, and things just seemed to fall into place.

Through the years, I’ve found that God’s plans were so much better than mine could have been anyway.

I stayed at home with my children when they were little, and I honestly had no thought that I would ever work again. I enjoyed being a stay at home mom and was grateful I could do it.

Once my children got to school age, though, I remember sitting on the side of my bed, aware that I would not likely have any more children, and wondering what in the world I was going to do with myself now that they would be in school. I realized they had been my almost singular purpose for the 7 or so years prior, and I didn’t know what my identity was apart from mothering.

When a classical school was starting in our area, we were interested, and as we tried to figure out how we might afford it, it became obvious that I could work at the school to earn the tuition. The Lord had worked out a new stage, another plan for my life. I discovered that not only was work something I was doing to meet a need (earning tuition), but it was actually something I enjoyed. I enjoyed sharing about the school to prospective parents and guiding them through the admissions process. I enjoyed coordinating testing for incoming students and administering the math (taking advantage of my degree in elementary education with a specialization in math). I liked the numerous administrative tasks like collecting tuition, enrolling students, helping with events, submitting reports to the state, helping oversee standardized testing, etc. I was glad to be working, and even though it had started as a means to an end, it became a place of ministry for me, as well. I loved the families I interacted with each day. I saw firsthand and through prayer God working and moving in that little school.

I thought I would be there forever. It seemed the perfect use of my elementary education degree and my administrative work background as a legal assistant.

And yet, God again had other plans. Last year, I began a new job at our church. I have seen His hand of preparation through past work experiences. And I’ve seen how my work isn’t just to earn the tuition money. These jobs have come with specific callings, using the gifts God has given me. I have come to see that if we took our children out of private schools, I would still work because the work is no longer about the tuition; it’s a calling of its own — unless He were to call me to something else unexpected!

So I resonate with Shelly. We do what God calls us to do and know that our stories are all unique, and there’s not one size fits all. My family is, of course, an obvious calling; I am a wife and mother! But because I don’t do much more than spend time with my family and work part-time, it all seems to balance out well.

While some of my friends work, many of them don’t, but are just as involved outside the home as I am through volunteer work at church or their children’s schools or in the community. They face the same challenges of balance that I do and have to make the same decisions about what they will spend their time doing. Thankfully, we can seek the Lord and trust that He will lead us to what is best.

School

Carolyn

From time to time, I have people ask me how we got involved with the classical Christian school that my children attend. For months, I’ve wanted to write it down because it was such an amazing display to me of God’s power. As we are at the 5 year mark, it seemed a good time to do so:

Just before Thanksgiving 2005 — My brother-in-law was leaving town for Thanksgiving, but ran by our house to drop something off. He had just been to breakfast with a business acquaintance, and this man (now our head of school) told him about a school that he and his wife were hoping to start. He gave my brother-in-law a small envelope of information, which my brother-in-law brought directly to me and told me he thought I would be interested.

I read the flyer about the classical school that was starting. Having sent my son to public school for Kindergarten and homeschooling him for first grade, we were unsure what to do for the following year. We had liked both of those options for different reasons, but were not settled about what we should do long term. (And let me note here that this is not a commentary on which educational option might be best for a family. This is a story of God’s amazing power and work in our lives! I know He calls different families to different schools, sometimes even for different children, and it can all change year to year. I’ve seen and experienced that, so I just want to clarify that.) Anyway, this possibility definitely interested us!

I immediately emailed my friends telling them about the upcoming informational meeting. I called my friend Mindy to see if she would be interested; I still remember her saying at the end of our conversation: “It’s like the Lord is creating a school just for us!” Isn’t that how personal God can be?

December 5, 2005 — I believe this was the date of the school’s first interest meeting; we attended with many of our friends, and I was pretty much sold! We had things we would need to figure out, though, before we could jump on board, such as how to afford it. I remember at some point calling Julie, the woman who had the original vision for the school, and asking her if I could be part of the prayer group for the school even if I wasn’t able to send my kids there. She said that would be OK!

December 30, 2005 — While at my mom’s house for Christmas break, I woke up that morning with the words “one eighteen eight” going through my head loudly over and over. It was like the words of a Bible verse: “118:8; 118:8; 118:8” over and over. Only on a couple of occasions had I had verses in my head like this, and in both those cases, it would become very obvious what the Lord had in it! So I went and looked up Psalm 118:8, knowing this would be the only Bible verse this reference could mean as no other book of the Bible has that many chapters.

Psalm 118:8 said: “It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.”

So I began to ponder what application that might have for my life. But I knew that though I could apply it to many things, there would be one clear thing. I told the Lord I would wait to see what He wanted to show me.

December 31, 2005 — I believe this is the first prayer meeting that the school had, on New Year’s Eve. We were still in Memphis, so we did not attend, but God was doing His own work on our hearts at that time.

Sunday, January 1, 2006 — Before church, I did a short devotion with the children on Jacob & Esau. They were then sitting on the floor in my mom’s den watching a Scooby Doo and eating pop-tarts (at grandmother’s house, remember?), and I was sitting in the back of the room on my mom’s sofa reading my Bible. I was trying to decide what to study next as I had just finished a Beth Moore study on the Patriarchs and Genesis. (I had been given an advance copy and studied it alone, without the videos, and was absolutely fascinated by the connections between the Old and New Testaments!) As I sat there, it seemed like Exodus would be the next logical place to go.

While I was sitting there thinking, my 7 year old son stood up from his food and TV, walked across the room to some bookshelves (my mom has floor to ceiling bookshelves on either side of a fireplace), scanned around and grabbed a yellow book and walked it over and laid it in my lap, then went back and sat back down to keep eating and watching TV.

I looked at the yellow book in my lap, and it was entitled A Devotional Commentary on Exodus, by F.B. Meyer. I was in shock! I asked my son, knowing full well he would have no idea that my intent was to study Exodus as I had been alone in the back of the room in my thoughts, but nonetheless, I said, “Did you see what I was reading and happen to know this book was on the shelf?” And he replied, “What? What do you mean?” And I called him over and showed him how the book said “Exodus” and I pointed to my Bible and showed him “Exodus,” and he said, “Oh, neat.” He had not / could not have seen this and had no idea and didn’t even know why he went to get the book! It was as though the Lord was giving me something He wanted me to have while I studied Exodus. It became the perfect book for me to study over the next several months as we were led out of something into something new that God was doing, and we were being called to trust Him, even when things would be hard and it would be easy to complain or want to give up (like the Israelites in the desert)! God used that study in the most remarkable ways!

January 4, 2006 — The question on my heart was school. I knew we didn’t want to homeschool long term, but wasn’t certain of God’s will. I went to read an email we had received from Doug (who was starting the school). He put the website on the email, and when I clicked to go there, when it came up, it said, “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.” Then there was a picture of a tree and another verse from Psalm 1:3.

The reason all of this was significant to me is that the verse there from Jeremiah 17:7 is the exact same verse as found in Psalm 118:8, the verse I had been woken up with the week before. I looked it up in my Bible, and beside Jeremiah 17:7, it said in the column “Psalm 118:8.”

Then we had been been homeschooling, we were studying Psalm 1, and we had drawn a tree and studied a tree in our yard and named him “Roots” and talked about all of these very themes that were pictured on the website!

To me, all of these things combined were clear calling that I couldn’t resist. I wrote in my journal, “I believe this is from the Lord as confirmation to pursue this. But Lord, You would have to provide. But I know You are the Lord who provides manna and water from the Rock! Let me see You do this!” I continued to pray for His confirmation and that He would use a lunch that my husband was having with Doug that Friday morning. What I did not want was me to lead the way and insist we go after this if my husband wasn’t for it, too. We had done that with homeschooling, and that is just a miserable thing to be in two different places on something.

January 6, 2006 — My husband had lunch with the head of school and learned that I could possibly work at the school, and his heart was completely on board, having no reservations.

I wrote in my journal, “Even as I write this, I feel excitement at how one day, I’ll look back at this and see how and what You did and glory to Your Name!”

Thus began our journey! We were convinced it was from the Lord. We continued to see Him do mighty things:

  • I prayed my son would have good friends, especially some boys since all his cousins and our neighbors and his sister were girls. By the time the school started, there were not only 5 boys in his combined 1st/2nd class, but they were the sons of some of my closest friends. By 2nd/3rd grade, there were 10 boys and 4 girls. I’d watch the class file out down the hall for a break or playtime, and just pause with wonder as those 10 boys would walk past — good friends! (I should note the girls were — and still are — his good friends, too, 3 of them being the daughters of close friends in my prayer group; but what struck me was how God had so lovingly answered that request for boys in his class — He just went exceedingly, abundantly beyond what I asked or imagined!)
  • There were challenging days, hard days, days you want to give up. Each time I’d question, the Lord would immediately confirm His plan and give me the strength to press on. I asked myself one day in my prayer time, “Well, what do you want?… do you just want an easy life, no working, just drop off the kids, go work out, eat with friends, or such things as seemed more desirable?!” I answered “No!” I went to my Bible study that very night, and it was the first video in the series, and Beth Moore spoke to this very thing. She turned to the camera and said, “Easy lives don’t make great stories! Your life was meant to be a great story!”
  • The 4 couples who were first involved with the school met weekly to pray each Saturday morning from January to August 2006 before school began. We saw God do mighty things! Some of them deserve their own post sometime. We have an awesome, mighty God!

There is more, so much more. I could write and write and write. But I’ll just say this was the clearest calling I had ever known, confirmed at every step, so to turn back was never an option! It’s been an adventure, a means of our sanctification, a struggle at times, wrestling through things, but a joy as well, seeing God work and move and use this little school for His glory. One of my favorite verses in this journey has been:

“Not to us, not to us, but to Your Name be the glory!” Psalm 115:1

He has done this. We have not. We want to be His willing servants, but He has shown His power and might and done this. Praise You, Lord, and thank you for your willingness to reveal Yourself so clearly when we seek you through Your Word and prayer!

Family Camp 2008

Carolyn

We are with my husband’s family in New York for a family camp this week. My father-in-law and our brother-in-law (both of whom are in ministry) are the speakers, and the entire family decided to come along. The children are having great fun with their cousins. We have had plenty of entertainment with miniature golf, arts & crafts, rock wall climbing, playing at the beach, going to the camp’s carnival, sending the children to their classes while we attend teaching sessions, enjoying the concerts put on by the camp, and eating much delicious food.
I never much cared for camp growing up. 2 weeks was a long time to be away, and I always missed my family. This, though, as a family, is actually a lot of fun! I don’t feel homesick having everyone together. This is an ideal arrangement, especially when the children are younger.

I’m enjoying some time, too, to reflect on being a wife and mom. I’ve not ever considered these roles in life as much of a “calling” as I necessarily have other things. For example, when we helped start a school, God gave us a clear “calling.” Many things in life leave me with a sense of calling. Funny how with perhaps the most important roles I have, I’ve never thought about them in this way. And maybe God hasn’t made a particular “call” regarding being a wife and mom simply because it’s so obvious: it’s what I am!

After spending the last 2 years helping get a school started and at times being all consumed by it, I feel God calling me back to these most important roles. Over the last month or so, I’ve realized it over and over again in very specific ways. With my children, I know these days are short, and I don’t have long to pour into these precious lives, these gifts from God. I will continue to work at the school in the job I love, but my prayer is this year will be marked by balance and that each role I have will be put in its proper place.

I praise the Lord today that He has given us the gift of family and that He has taught us in His Word how to act and live as a family in relationship to one another and in relationship to Him. I praise Him that He is able to make all grace abound toward us. I need His help. In nothing else do I see my inadequacies so greatly. In this, as in all things, I must exchange my weakness for His strength and yield to His Spirit’s leading. He will no doubt give me joy in this call as I trust and obey Him. May He renew and revive each of our hearts in this home so that we may all walk in the fullness of Him!