Waiting

I have been mostly in bed since Saturday with an injured knee. I don’t know how I did it exactly. The pain has been increasing over the last few months, finally to the point I couldn’t walk. I decided then maybe it was time to go to the doctor!

After x-rays, he discovered some sort of loose body or fragment in the bone joint. I had an MRI on Tuesday, and I can’t see the orthopedist until Friday.

So I wait. I suppose the Labor Day weekend slowed this process some. It started out feeling a little bit retreat like! I listened at home on Sunday to our church service. I caught up on my Beth Moore Bible Study on Esther and watched a couple of the videos. I read, prayed, emailed, surfed blogs and Facebook, and even became so bored as to join Twitter! (That’s another story!)

By the time, though, that I finished the retreat-like aspect of my knee journey, I suddenly came to be bothered by the wait, by not being able to jump up and do things, by not being able to go to work, irritated with the discomfort.

But God is in this. He is in the waiting. He has permitted these days for a reason. I want to discover it and pray it has something of an eternal purpose. I want to trust Him more. Fear overtook me in the night suddenly. But His Word and prayer and the remembrance of who He is and all that He has done in my life brought comfort. Not immediately. It took deliberate focus of my thoughts to allow Him to move me from fear to more faith, but after two hours, I was in a much better place.

“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4

I pray this day will be spent not so scattered, so feeling torn by what I should be doing but cannot do, but more restful, relaxed, and focused on Him. And may He be glorified in some way through this.

I have much for which to praise Him. My mom is now living in town and able to cook for us and help me. My husband has had flexibility with his schedule and helped keep the house clean and laundry going, staying home with me two days this week. My children have not been demanding, but have helped me get things I need. This is in the grand scheme of life but a small trial, but it reminds me of the many gifts God has given me, and I praise and thank Him.